MY 90 DAY JOURNEY WALK WITH ME

DAY #1

well this is my millionth time it feels like relapsing but I really have hope that ill beat pmo this time by keeping consistent and writing over here everyday until day 90.

well right now in my life guys I basically have absolutely nothing to do. Im a recent high School graduate waiting to start college this September and I will be close to a year of nofap. I really have no one to call friends. I'm always alone because I haven't found people worth hanging out with. I've been here so many times guys at the bottom. but I really am tired of it. so here goes nothing, this will be where I put all my thoughts and where I will write to get my mind off the urges, after a while after relapsing today I slouched around watched Netflix then decided to go to the gym for a work out. I felt the awkwardness in myself as soon as I left the door. and when I was on the subway. if Id see someone attractive or intimidating id get fidgety and not anxious but nervous in a way. I was the same in the gym. I didn't really put in a workout I just did some sets on like a couple stuff. went swimming and had a sauna session. I feel okay I guess. but it hasn't even been a day yet so I'm not expecting results so soon. so for tonight basically the plan is to watch some Netflix, get a midnight snack and go to bed without a phone or any way to get online.

 

Day #2
Here in my room feeling depressed and hopeless. There's a voice in the back of my mind urging me to relapse. But no I'm gonna keep on keeping on

 

I have one, I would be relapsing if it wasn't for her

 

Day 3

I was out most of the day today, I went to my old school to get some papers. at first I wasn't gonna go at all and was just gonna put it off for another day. I have anxiety when it comes to going to my old school for some reason. but I did it anyways. so everything feels good so far.

 

Day 4

Hit with massive urges today, was about to give in but with the help of my ap and a cold shower I beat it. Didn't really do anything today just stayed home mostly.