Motivated....finally

Porn has started to affect my relationship. I never imagined it would get to this point, but it certainly has confirmed my worst fears.

Background on my life: I've had several flings and fleeting relationships in my lifetime. I always struggled with intimacy, but I never thought too much of it. The relationships didn't work out for one reason or another. Throughout all of this, porn had been a constant. Giving it up never crossed my mind because I didn't think it would ever negatively affect my life. It was something that I enjoyed and I could hide it really well.

A few years ago, I started dating my now girlfriend. She truly is the love of my life. She makes me happier than anyone ever has. I told her early on about my struggles with porn and pledged to fight it. I truly had been. However, my girlfriend and I spent the whole last year apart and where I lived was so isolating, so PMO was again on my mind all the time. I still continued to fight it, but the battle was harder than it had been in a long time.

I moved back to the city where my girlfriend lives and I started school. Her and I went from not seeing each other more than once a month to seeing each other on a daily basis. Everything picked up again in our relationship: emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. Our physical relationship has always been a stumbling block because we pledged to save sex for marriage. Because of that, we draw a hard line on what's appropriate and what's inappropriate physically. It had never been an issue until recently. I felt unsatisfied, like what we had wasn't enough. I said something about it to her, and as I was saying it, it clicked in my head: porn had infiltrated my relationship and had negatively affected it. Porn had played a part in making me unsatisfied in my relationship.

Suffice it to say, I feel more motivated than ever to kick this. A little advice for all of you fighting with me, don't wait for reasons to not PMO to appear. Figure out what you want to fight for and fight for that now! Thankfully, my girlfriend and I have talked things through and our relationship is still intact. I just hope that I can continue to feed off the motivation I have from this situation to fight against PMO