Monk Mode Poison Mindset

It’s very true, we can’t think that we are way above everyone just because we improve ourselves although in some ways we are.

 

You need to develop some hobbies to avoid becoming boring. That too is part of the NoFap strategy.

 

You aren't meditating or improving yourself the right way if you're constantly angry then (there is no actual right way, actually, just what works for you).

 

I was wondering about the TV part I was like cmon man!! Lol but that's how brainwashed it has me :/ but then you said motivational videos so I can do that , social media is the most easiest for me cuz I didn't grow up with that I'm also hearing lots of audiobooks , however, if I do watch a movie it has to be like a reward not Oh I'm board ima see what's on TV lol no!

 

I'm very similar to you in many ways. I also did some time in monk mode and even threw out music as well and everything else you mentioned.

I realize now that this is just another form of addiction: I'm addicted to rejecting those things which others find pleasure in and feeling like I am better than this. It's hard to admit, but it's the idea of feeling morally superior that sometimes gets to me. I hated myself for years for having sexual desire or enjoying movies or doing any mindless, unproductive activity. I feel as though I always need to keep improving, stay productive, and stop wasting time on things which are pleasurable but don't help improve me in any way.

I suffered much abuse as a child (sexual, physical, emotional) and had to learn to survive without having anyone to talk to, never felt loved by anyone including parents and family (dysfunctional), had very little or no possessions, and I had to do everything for myself. I often still live using that survival instinct so it is rather easy for me to live like an ascetic even when I don't actually need to. I've scorned owning possessions for years adopting a minimalist lifestyle and even forced myself to sleep on the floor. I experience a warped sense of pride from having my mind totally overcome my body's natural desires. I imagine this same feeling of power over the body is what drives an anorexic.

I fear enjoying the things that I reject because I believe I will become weak minded if I give in to them. I condemned drinking, going out, hanging out with friends (my parents never liked my friends), and sex since I was a teenager because I was afraid of becoming an alcoholic like my father, or a pedophile like my abuser, or an abusive parent like my parents. I literally starved myself out of the "fun" social activities that normal people do and became a recluse.

I've come to realize that I probably will eventually need to do the very things that I fear in order to recover and to start living a normal life. I may need to go experience drinking, socializing, going out, and having sex in order for me to stop projecting my insecurities onto others. It's not so much to get drunk or to experience pleasure, but simply to stop fearing those things and to see them for what they really are and not what I think they are. Unfortunately, it won't be easy; PTSD gets triggered just thinking about it.

 

Hello friend,I can relate to your fears to fall into the same trap as ALMOST everyone else,please note the caps.
I find myself tripping about wether deleting social media or not and here comes the interesting:
Take NoFap,is there a way you can simply make dissapear triggers and urges? No,you overcome them,and let them flow without fall in the trap,well, same principle applyes to the rest of activities that might cause addiction. It is preferable to have them in your life and learn to be able to be over them than removing the possibilities,Wich is more of a fearful approach. I had this idea from a friend,when I said I was getting rid of Facebook he told me: why don't you learn to control yourself instead? And to be honest with you it is harder than I thought because the need of socializing is a human behaviour and as porn is for real sex,social media is for social life. Some sort of pseudo-substitute.I understand your fears but fear is the human number one enemy .Meditation will help you to improve your mindset about these fears and yes,keep in mind you are much better facing them.I wish you luck

 

What people do with their free time is their business. I don't compare myself to others. There's no point. Just be the best version you can be of you. And by that I mean the best version FOR YOU, don't try to make yourself as good as possible in the eyes of others. You need to satisfy and be content with yourself.

I don't do that at all. I just expect people to make at least a minor effort with appearance and clean clothes. And good hygiene. I don't want to be near people with bad hygiene personally..

That's fair enough. I don't want to be associated with negative and poisonous people either. Lot's of jealous people about. It's better to be associated and friends with similar people. It's more fun..

If you have nothing in common with your girlfriend then it's a pointless relationship. You need similar interests and hobbies or it's not fun. Productivity is good as is positivity, but don't forget to have fun too.

Calmness is best. It doesn't matter what others think, just yourself. They can't control what you do with your life. Nothing good comes of angriness and stress. Learn to stay calm and relaxed. Let stuff go or ignore it instead of arguing if it leads to an easier stress-free life.

Perfection is impossible and striving for it leads to stress if you pressure yourself. Take it easy and do what you want. If that's being more productive then fine, but don't put yourself under too much pressure. Maybe that explains your general bad attitude and temper. You need to chill a bit. You are allowed to have fun with your hobbies. If you find a girl you connect with and share similar interests/hobbies with then that's good. If you enjoy watching a TV show or youtube to de-stress that's good. You have to do some things to de-stress yourself. Stress is a bad thing and you don't have to put yourself under constant pressure all the time.

I hope you get the idea. You need to chill out a bit and let yourself recover from time to time. You seem to be putting yourself under a lot of pressure to be perfect. You aren't giving yourself any time to relax or de-stress. Good luck. The key is productivity, positivity and fun. You don't want stress and you want to improve. You want to be happy. You don't want to make yourself miserable for the sake of productivity. Good luck.

 

What you should do is to help them, not bash them. Monkmode, monks of the past were not thinking they were better than everyone else. They thought "how can I live good life, how can I help others". No need to be arrogant

 

You've probably had this poisonous mindset from the begining; monk mode has just been the tool which has helped you finally see it. Unfortunately I've been seeing how perfectionism has pretty much infested this recovery site with people shooting for perfect streaks, all the while belittling and never appreciating their small achievements simply because they didn't make it to day 90.

 

Meditation will help us to overcome the ego, while on monkmode.

 

I think you're taking it too far man.

Monk mode and all that is good, but you don't want to be an actual monk, right?
You just want to stop the fapping habit, and improve your life in general.

Some amount of TV, youtube and all those other things should be good as long as you're not going overboard...

 

Even Dalai Lama is on Twitter