Mine procrastination, anxiety and addictions log

Hi there,

I have started my reboot journal but eventually discovered that PMO isn't my main issue (is important though). I will keep it for more structured reports and this topic for procrastination issues.
Just a little background on mine procrastination (laziness) development.
At the elementary school, my parents controlled me only on the first stages later they understood I'm good on my own so I was left uncontrolled early on. At first, I responsibly did my duties but later I understood that it takes a little time to complete tasks and began doing them partly at home and mostly during lesson brakes. So far it didn't cause any problems as I was quite smart and could cope with this learning model .
As an introverted person, I didn't really like to hang out with kids and most of the free time spent on video games and books.
At the middle school, this approach started to give breaches as home tasks became harder and required more time. Mainly I managed to keep up with high-average grades and only once received unsatisfied final grade and once my mother was called to the school as the teacher noticed bad dynamics on one of the subjects.
At that stage, I started to PMO but it was mostly as a curiosity rather than stress relief.
At the high school, as you may predict, things get worse. I managed to join the elite school without any efforts (karma will hit me later, don't worry ). But this time I started rewriting home tasks from others and I finally get unlimited access to the internet, which enabled me with the possibility to get finished tasks.
BUT, I still managed to get good grades for External Exams, this wasn't the effortless achievement but with minimum possible commitment.
At this stage, video games\PMO\internet became addictions and means to escape reality.
University wasn't much different from the high school, but it included some complex tasks that required some great time investments. Still, I managed to get relatively good marks, but I faced great struggles when some complex task should be finished. Especially it showed up when I should write down diploma work and I postponed it for 1,5 years.
Ironically, I failed on the most important stage of education and at the same time other problems showed up like depression, general\social anxiety etc.
It was really hard to find a job in that state, and even on work, It was really hard to do my duties as every complex task or one associated with human interaction should be done through great inner protest and fear of mistake and judgment. As a result, a lot of tasks were unproperly prioritized (as I tend to postpone uncomfortable ones), a lot of tasks were done after the deadline or with mistakes as I done them in a rush.

As I understand addictions, anxiety and procrastination (or just laziness) are somehow connected.
Addictions mess up motivation system and as a result, you choose easy and fast pleasure over hard and long-term. Anxiety triggers escape mechanism and you try to avoid hard and uncomfortable tasks.
And only fear of consequences makes you motivated to finish tasks, but unfortunately, it triggers only near a deadline, when there is nowhere to run.

So in order to deal with procrastination, you should really deal with addictions and anxiety. It is clear what to do with addictions (just get rid of them ).But what the heck should you do with anxiety?
One answer I come out with is to "just do it". But it isn't that easy as may seems. On the other hand, you can try to prove to yourself that the task isn't that "scary" or hard as may seem. Another way is to acknowledge the risk of delaying it and benefits it could give you.

And in this thread, I will try to understand the tasks that I tend to procrastinate. Hope it could work for me and be helpful to others.

Best regards

 

So at the best procrastination practices, I'm writing here instead of working .
Wasted half of the day. The reason is that I did everything that is comfortable for me, and only tasks that are not understandable or the ones I afraid of looking at left. That is another interesting aspect of procrastination when you overdue something then afraid thinking about it, leading to even bigger delay and even bigger fear.
If you don't understand the task it is recommended to break down into small easier tasks, but sometimes you don't really know how to break it down .
Now I feel anxious and down, but the day started so well... Everything besides work seems so important and interesting, and for some reason, I feel the great need to eat or drink or do out of office.
Will try to get down to the work.