Me

I have been doing NoFap for a long while now, i starting masterbating 3 years ago on a daily basis with no wanting to stop, i believed this was good and had no worry. After a few months i wanted to stop and had the idea that if i moved onto porn it would be very easy to stop as you could just lock your phone in a room, how wrong i was. I started to pmo everyday twice to porn and did not want to stop, then after a few months i wanted to stop and began doing things like writing down thoughts and basically just trying to block the thoughts but at the same time stayed in my room with my phone bored which led to nothing but relapsing, moving in a few months i was determined to stop but stupidly carried on with my normal habits. These past 2 years i have been changing my habbits by doing things like less time on my phone and keeping myslef occupied but seem to always find myself going back to these habbits. My life consists of basically surviving, i have lots of friends and have an amazing family but pmo addiction is ruining my life, there is so much i am missing out on and so much of my life i am wasting. Everyday i think of pmo either how i want to do it or how i want to stop, EVERY DAY FOR 2 YEARS i am absolutley sick of living this boring pathetic cycle over and over again, i feel sad and depressed when i relapse, i trnd to go for about 3 days to a wek without pmo and feel good but then, relapse, i feel like absolute shit, i am tired of waisting my life and living like a machine with no meaning. I do thai boxing and have been for about a year and a half, i go 2 times a week and love it, i have had 3 fights and win then all, its something i am very proud of, so i do not spend all my time at home, but when i get home i am returned to this miserable cycle and want to break it. Today i want to be the day i look back and and remember the day i got my life back. I am going to put my everything into this and stop surviving life and living. I will be writing a journal through this journey and am going to write about my day, struggles, and benefits i have gained

 

Thank you