Masturbation -- normal healthy thing?

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Do-Animals-Masturbate-44324.shtml

Dolphins masturbating on the seabed? That's weird.

 

I know mine is a minority opinion, but I really think masturbation is not good for us. Yes, orgasm will tend to happen anyway (at least when you're younger), and the reproductive system is obviously natural; but that doesn't mean that self-pleasure is good for us.

Sex has a purpose, and it isn't to be turned toward oneself. The problem with masturbation is that it is really self-centered. Even if you are fantasizing, even if you are fantasizing about your beloved, your sexual focus in masturbating isn't a real person, but rather, an image or fantasy of your own creation. In other words, the focus is back on self.

Whether we're focusing on porn, which someone else creates for us, or we're focusing on an image or fantasy we create for ourselves, either way we're choosing a self-centered reality that we created, and which no real person can ever measure up to. What we need is other people, but we have to embrace the reality and messiness of relationships with other people, not the ideal unreality we create in our minds.

And, yes, I know all the arguments for how the body "needs" to fap, but I don't buy them. As I mentioned above: the male body is perfectly capable of orgasming when needed, so if the body needs it, I don't have to help it along. That's just a self-serving excuse.

 

yeah...I've done that before, not my best moments. Glad I'm doing better, and it seems you are, too - 17 days! Well done!

 

I no longer think it's healthy at all either.

 

Do you think it's unhealthy for a kid going through puberty to MO? I think you should grow out of it. I don't think someone who's 60 should MO, but a kid 13-17 should.

 

The young kids should try their best not to get hooked and make it a regular habit.

 

Yup. Thats exactly what I think. Sex is not for fun its for reproduction. But everyone doesnt understand this. Everyone have their own time when things come to their mind and the picture becomes clear. (Can be called Maturity).
Still i feel that people dont see sex as what it really is and unless we change our look we cant improve. Quiting pmo for getting hard seems quite lame.

 

bingo

 

LOL the mind BOGGLES at the thought!

 

We'll agree to disagree here.

Firstly not everyone CAN have kids. Some women can't. Some men can't. (I CAN, but some people can't.) Secondly, not everyone WANTS kids. MOST people do, but some people really don't. Thirdly, what about the bonding aspects? Even if it's in a marriage, do you not think that sex is a great way for a couple to maintain their bond, yet another way (not the ONLY way, of course!) to be close to each other? I mean, you CAN'T get any closer than that.

But we'll agree to disagree.
You think sex is just for reproduction, and that's fair enough, that's your opinion.
I think sex can be fun and is NOT just for reproduction but doesn't even have to be for reproduction at all.

But, one final thing. APPARENTLY some marriages break up or some guys have affairs (which I personally DO NOT agree with!) because their wives no longer want to have sex with them. You know? I still think it's kind of an excuse, but on the other hand I kinda get it. So, if sex is ONLY for reproduction, why does THAT happen then?

Anyway, YMMV, that's OK, I'm just providing a different perspective and I do respect yours too, even though I don't agree with it.

Quitting PMO for getting hard MIGHT seem lame, but we don't know what it's like for those guys. Who have that problem. And everyone has their own reasons. I think a lot of our reasons for quitting PMO are the same or similar. But also a lot of our reasons are very different and very individual. And that's perfectly OK.

 

I think MO IS normal and natural BUT WE have abused it, and become addicted. And that is why we want to quit - and ARE quitting it.

Especially if it replaces things that are even better for us, which is a host of other things, and also esp. if it replaces sex, including people on here who have seen relationships suffer from CHRONIC masturbation. Key word being CHRONIC here.

I think in moderation MO is OK - notice I didn't say Pmo! But first of all, we need to really re-wire ourselves, reboot our bodies and brains. Because right now we DON'T use it in a normal, natural way. And it's gonna take time until we do, until we can without becoming addicted again. Some people can never do it again, some people were saying on another thread. I may have to to maintain my body in a condition that I CAN have sex. But not till I have had a BIG reboot. You know? 3-4 months MINIMUM no PM.

So, I think it's a matter of excessiveness that is the issue here. We let it take over our whole lives. It wasn't balanced.

 

I can relate to that a bit and I LOVE how you put that, the reality and messiness of relationships with other people. I even had this thought, "Oh but I might get my heart broken. Forget the guy, why don't I just masturbate instead, it's much safer."

But it's not "real" you know? Yes, with real people it can be messy, confusing etc. But it's real. It's not some f___d up fantasy. But a real human. And what about skin hunger? Some of us love to be touched etc. by another human I mean! and masturbation can't give us that. It can't cuddle us, hold us close. I mean, hey, some people don't even WANT that! But some people do.

 

M may or may not be normal. But that is beside the point. Aim for what is excellent people!

 

M is normal but I agree with tesslynne. We have abused our bodies. The over exposure to dopamine spikes has damaged my brain so much and I had no idea until I started quitting. My plan is to limit my orgasms to real people but I need a big reboot to help stabilise my brain chemicals first.

 

That's a really good observation, and it is really like this.
A broken heart is a tremendous pain which takes months or even years to heal.
But this experience is necessary, and it makes us much more mature .

So instead of fleeing into PMO, I suggest to expose ourselves to the "risk" of falling in love, to the "risk" of feeling the paradise, and to the "risk" of feeling the hell.

We need to learn to deal with broken heart, and to be open instead of closing ourselves up.

I have made a very heavy experience in this regard 5 months ago, it was paradise and hell, and now I feel like I matured one big step.

 

I think one needs to dig deep to find out WHY they're masturbating. For me, it was because I hated myself and thought that I was incapable of having relationships with women. Plus, I also had a shallow view of sex as a hunger that needed to be satisfied, instead of an act of intimacy that is shared with someone. Not masturbating has given me so much confidence that I never want to make it a habit again. If I ever choose to masturbate willingly instead of compulsively, it will be with my future wife. But then it will be a much different experience than the typical "jerk for 30 seconds, clean up and move on".

 

@ori713
Like I said, there will never be a solid reason to why we are masturbating. It is very subjective to everyone. And like Gary Wilson already said, to conduct such a test as to why one masturbates, scientists need a control group, or simply a group that doesn't masturbate. Sadly, scientist could not find any that legitly doesn't masturbate.

So its not that simply as to just dig in to sth like that.

 

In America being 50 lbs overweight is normal. It is also extremely unhealthy. Normal and healthy are not interchangeable words.

I don't really know if masturbation is healthy. I haven't fapped in 8 months and this is the most mentally and emotionally healthy I have ever felt. I have no idea if physically I'm any more or less healthy, so I can't weigh in on that.

 

Really, really interesting link. Thanks for posting!

 

The title is:
Is intense sexual stimulation tied to unnatural modern conditions?
And I say: YES.
It is because human interaction and touch is more and more replaced by technical devices and stimulation of all kind.