Masturbating without stimuli to cut losses at relapse?

Hi. From November 2019 to February 2021 (or thereabouts) I did not watch porn. I accomplished this by relapsing with other material instead, the possible kinds of material I made smaller step-wise (eg. since April 2021 I hadn't watched clothed erotic videos either, and since August 2021 I hadn't looked at nudes). In December 2020 I just wanted to stop relapsing altogether, but then gradually every relapse I did have used more intense material again, until I was back at porn.
Now almost every time I relapse it's with porn.

So I was thinking... according to a lot of people here, and I think my father was of this opinion too, masturbation isn't bad per se. It is bad in combination with porn, however. Personally though, I didn't discover masturbation until after discovering porn, and for me they have always been linked.
I'm thinking now, though: what if, when I notice that I'm going to relapse, I would be able to make the decision to put away the stimuli (and all of them, including hot parts of books or scantily clad ladies in Donald Duck or whatever) and masturbate. I think that would still feel as a relapse, and I would feel bad, but it would also decrease the tension probably, so I could return to my normal self.
I would prefer to not masturbate, and will keep trying, but maybe there's a use in recovery to masturbating without stimuli?
On the other hand, I'm wondering how productive it would be in the long run. I didn't watch porn for over a year, but during most of that period I did regularly relapse—and now I've also been watching porn again for a long time.
Moreover, I'm afraid that it will turn out to be impossible to have orgasm by focusing on my body, and that I will have to try fantasising (I am bad at forming pictures in my mind, so it wouldn't be easy ), which doesn't seem productive either, and it also seems risky, as in two occasions in the past I've fantasised about friends while masturbating, and those experiences were somewhat traumatic.
Concluding: I want to get free from addiction altogether, but as long as I do sometimes relapse I want it to be without porn or porn substitutes, and I wonder if conscious decisions to masturbate to orgasm without stimuli could help in achieving this.
Any thoughts or experiences?

 

I mean, I can't deny subconscious feelings I suppose. I highly doubt that you are right, though.
It is my experience that however good my intentions, however much I pray, however good I plan things, I still relapse. Sadly, we live in a broken world.
I see that you have been more successful. Congrats.


I just tried MO'ing, with success. However, interestingly, I still used some kind of stimuli: I decided to look up rain sounds on YouTube. Weird, right?

 

Makes sense.
I do think that any relapse would probably reduce urges for me, though. Because during the year that I didn't watch porn, I would sometimes have temptation to watch porn, but then I'd relapse with something else, and it would subside.
The thing is, though, I don't want to relapse at all. Can I focus on two things at once? We'll see, I guess...