Married - and not looking back (60 days clean)

ImASinnerWhoJesusSaved · Jan 6, 2017

Aryangor said: ↑

It is good that you realize that you might have pride. It is a dangerous thing and one can even become proud in seeking not to have any pride.

The more you stare in your own eyes, the more you realize how imperfect and incomplete you are without the grace of God. And until you realize that you played a role in nailing Him to the Cross, you will not fully realize that you can also have the share of grace He offers. Just like you can't do anything about the fact that Jesus suffered and died, so you can't change the fact that He is offering you grace unlimited - today and every day. No matter what you do, you can't change that. Meaning that you can never be self sufficient. And that is deadly to pride. And so I am back where I started my argument )
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Thank you for your words, they encourage me greatly this morning. I'm reminded of this hymn.

Not what my hands have done
Can save my guilty soul;
Not what my toiling flesh has borne
Can make my spirit whole.
Not what I feel or do
Can give me peace with God;
Not all my prayers and sighs and tears
Can bear my awful load.

Thy work alone, O Christ,
Can ease this weight of sin;
Thy blood alone, O Lamb of God,
Can give me peace within.
Thy love to me, O God,
Not mine, O Lord to thee,
Can rid me of this dark unrest
And set my spirit free.

IGY · Feb 9, 2017

It is a month since you posted @Aryangor. It would be encouraging to hear from you again and find out how you are.

Don Gately · Feb 9, 2017

Great story! ... now I just need to figure out who to marry.

Pursuit__Of__Happiness · Feb 22, 2017

Anoeshka said: ↑

Hi, this is Ary's wife typing... ))

My first reaction to his SSA was that I fell in love with him. ))) My first reaction to his addiction to porn was that I told him about my own addiction. ))))))))))))))

So on a serious note now... He told me about SSA just before we started dating. We did not plan to fall in love, both of us had so many plans and ideas which did not involve another person. So falling in love came to both by surprise.

To me his SSA is not as big as it is for him. When I think of him and see him, SSA is the last thing that I think about. Actually I only think about it when he mentions it. He chose to love me, to spend the rest of his life with me. That is what matters.

When you are in a relationship, there are always the possibility of feeling sexually or emotionally attracted to someone else. But attraction is not love. What matters is how you respond to this attraction. And he always chooses to be loyal to me regardless of being attracted to other people - and that is what matters to me. He chooses to love me every day. And I choose the same.

Now about PMO. I am a woman and I used to struggle with MO and PMO a lot. Lately more people come to the knowledge that women also enjoy sex (duh!) and may hence struggle with sexual temptations. I believe it is a human thing. Unfortunately us girls are more shy to talk about this. We are scared of the rejection that goes with it. Also I did a lot of reading about PMO and the chemical stuff that happens to one's brain, so I could more easily understand what my husband (back then boyfriend and then fiance) was going through. And he understood even better what I went through when fighting PMO.

PMO is PMO. It doesn't matter if you look at gay porn, lesbian porn, whatever kind of porn. So to me it made no difference what porn he watched. I knew it was messing with his brain chemistry. But I also knew that because his brain is already addicted to porn it is more difficult to break with the habit. I tried to show compassion and grace, sometimes I failed, but I hope that most times I succeeded.

I am very proud of my husband for always being honest to me, for sharing about his struggles even when it is difficult. He is so much more than his addiction. He is considerate, kind, loving and always looks out for my best interest. When I look at him, I see his character and who he is and not his addiction or his SSA. And I believe in ten years' time we will look back at these posts and try to remember what we felt like when we were still fighting PMO and MO.

I hope I answered your question. If you have more questions then I'm willing to answer.

NOTE: To all you guys out there fighting PMO, you are true warriors! You can do it, never stop believing. Keep on fighting for your current and future relationships and for your own mental health. You are worth so much more than being enslaved to an addiction.
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Beautiful. Very few people are lucky to find an understanding partner like you. Best of luck to both of you. Keep loving and keep believing.

Aryangor · Feb 23, 2017

badassreturns said: ↑

Beautiful. Very few people are lucky to find an understanding partner like you. Best of luck to both of you. Keep loving and keep believing.
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Thank you friend! )

IGY · Feb 24, 2017

IGY said: ↑

It is a month since you posted @Aryangor. It would be encouraging to hear from you again and find out how you are.
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How are you both getting on in overcoming your addiction?

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Married - and not looking back (60 days clean)

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