Hello All, I have been abstaining from PM since March 1st. I have had sex with O with my wife twice this month. My wife and I have a five year old son whom we both absolutely adore. I'm 42 years old and I feel like I am finally admitting to myself and to other people how destructive my porn watching has been to myself and my family and my entire life. What are some ways I can strengthen my recovery and integrate myself fully into the NoFap community? I have to say I am grateful that there is a place where i can share my struggles with porn addiction and also my recovery. I'm not sure if this is good or bad but my wife doesn't seem to want to know much about the specifics of my addiction, only whether or not I have had a slip or I am struggling. We are both in couples therapy and I am also in a 12-step program for compulsive binge eating. Thanks in advance for any advice and support and I look forward to sharing in the recovery process from porn addiction! Steve
Welcome to the forum. Congrats on almost 30 days and for saving your marriage. There are a few ways you can become more ingrained into the community. 1. You could start a journal that details your journey - past and present. 2. After 30 days you can post in the Success Stories folder and list things that helped you to get clean. 3. You could welcome new members in the New to NoFap folder or just like their post. 4. You can also 'Pay it Forward' by being an accountability partner for someone... perhaps another married guy just starting out... by looking through the Accountability Partners folder. 5. Sometimes guys show up in the Rebooting in a Relationship folder and ask questions. Answers from guys who are successfully rebooting are more valuable than from someone who continually relapse. We look forward to your contributions.
Also, think about how to strengthen the intimacy and connection with your wife. For me the strength of this connection makes me stronger in my convictions to never PMO. Try bonding exercises, Fanos, karezza maybe. Also, how will you deal with stress or uncomfortable emotions other then PMO? Exercise, punching bag, talk to friends, journal, go for a walk..? It's good to have strategies in place before an issue arises. Good Luck. Stay Strong.
Thank you both for your responses! I think journaling is great way to share my thinking with others as we move through this journey together. Going to the gym, reading non-self help books and hitting golf balls are ways for me to relax. I just started working with a male therapist and he is trying to get me some quick wins to lift my moods and to have healthy activities to do in place of PMO. I'm also looking into signing up for swing dance lessons with my wife as a once a week activity so we are both assured having fun!
