My name is Mike. I am terrified to post this. I am new to the site, signed up 3 days ago promising that I would fight what I have finally decided to acknowledge is an addiction. The strange thing about me is that I never felt like what I was doing was an addiction, or even wrong. When I am at work, in public, or around others, you would never know that I have this side to me. I am very active in my church, and what made me realize the issues I am having is the way that the info about that 19 kids and counting star came to be public knowledge. I looked at myself and my actions with PMO and thought what would my friends think if they found out what I did. I also have to say that I have issues with same sex attraction and I think this might be one of the reasons I MO as often as I do.(sometimes 4 times a day) SSA is my secret, and I have not shared it with any of my church friends. Only my family, and close friends outside of church know. It is my release for myself so I don't have to go looking for that risky behavior that is so common in the gay community. I don't want anyone to know as I feel they would lose respect for who I portray that I am. Without an outlet for my sexual frustration, I am constantly MO. I don't know where to go from here, I thought I would have the will power to move forward and eliminate the habit, but I cant even make it past the one day that I promised myself I could. I know the first step is the most difficult, but I cant seem to make it. I know once I am finished posting here, and reading success stories, and psyching myself up to make it through the night, I will fail. What have been some of the ways that others have become successful in taking that first step, when starting the act, how do you convince yourself to stop right there and do something else? I need as many pointers and as much advice as I can get. thanks in advance for suggestions.
You're a good person suffering from a nasty affliction. We all are. Hang in there, and treat yourself with kindness and understanding regardless.
Welcome to the community. It WILL help being here, interacting, telling your stories and making yourself accountable to the community. It's a DAILY struggle. take it one day at a time and focus on changing for the better. We were, most of us hijacked at a very early formative age, exposed to material we shouldn't have had access to. We now are left with the fall out from that and are pulling together to beat it. Good luck on your own personal journey Brit
There's lots of great resources on here, A good place to start is here: http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/nofaps-emergency-relapse-prevention-tool.21180/ You've got to WANT to change. Make a COMMITMENT. And then it's simple; just HANDS OFF!
Thanks for the replies and encouragement. My goal for this long weekend is to make it through without pmo. I will do my best.
