lost it far away from girlfriend

Try to identify what triggers you to search out the P and replace the action of opening up the browser with something else. Open up nofap rather than your usual P sites. Read all of the brilliant testimonies of those men achieving success. Expose yourself to the regret and disappointment in other people's relapse reports. Offer other users support and encouragement. If sitting on the internet is still too risky, get yourself out of the situation more fully. Use your urges as an alarm for when to exercise. When you find yourself wanting to unzip your pants, just take them off and put on your running gear. Jog until you feel good about yourself. You will get a slow, natural release of endorphins. You will be distracted from your urges and they will subside. You will be doing something for your partner (looking after your health and fitness) rather than doing something that hurts and betrays them.

 

What @samnf1990 said and don't beat yourself up over it. For some PAs, relapses are a normal part of recovery. Remember that sobriety is only a small part of recovery. What other changes do you see in yourself? Congratulate yourself on those. Talk to your GF. Admit to a relapse. Address the triggers. Make a plan of what to do next time you find yourself in a similar situation. Without a plan, your primitive brain will take over. Urges are natural - going to P sites is a choice.

 

@samnf1990 & @novibe have great points!
I would also add, be positive about what you have accomplished. You lasted until the last breath.

Now is a great opportunity to evaluate the situation, the urges, what could have been done differently. Not the general 'I shouldn't have looked at porn...' but an actual analyzation of the environment, situation, feelings, thoughts LEADING UP TO the point where you first entertained the thoughts and eventually the relapse.

My SO pointed described some literature on the subject and it made a lot of sense (to me). A relapse doesn't come and immediately appear and overtake your mind/body. The thoughts have been there for a while. Hours, days, weeks before. The initial thought was planted and never fully confronted and properly handled. Then the other thoughts find their way in and the frequency of the thoughts slowly build until it's all consuming. A key to preventing a potential relapse is to find the first/initial thought and declaring it caught. Because once you entertain a thought, you become it's host for the rest of their stay.