I've been addicted to porn since a very young age (18 now), lost my virginity to my current gf at 16, couldn't O (looking back i had DE) anyway, I used to have a lot of sex with my gf but at the same time watch a lot of porn, until my porn watching got so bad only a certain genre got me even 20% hard and nothing else would even make it flinch (yes very bad) i then came to realise when i went to have sex that I had PIED (NOT GOOD). This was my wake up call and stumbled across NoFap. I started on normal mode at first, so i continued to have sex with my gf (when i could of course due to me having pied). Anyway looking back I should of when straight to hard mode because now i'm in this problem. Its been about 5/6 months now. About 5 weeks ago I decided to go hard mode. I don't get any porn flashbacks anymore, like 0 maybe one every week which is like easy to just flick away out my head. But my problem I have now is whenever i get aroused by my gf, simply her getting dressed or her sitting on my lap my penis is EXTREMELY sensitive. Not the good kind like the very bad kind like PE kind. Before the 5 weeks i was cumming within 10/30 seconds. Which is not like me at all, then after i came i would get EXTREME anxiety, depression, itches, sexual thoughts (chaser effect). But now whenever i lets say kiss her, it feels good at first, I get a full erection rock hard (the good kind) but then when it goes back down, anxiety hits, depression hits and lose all the "superpowers" that i was gaining from the past week, I'm not even orgasming. I've read a lot of people stories on here and they just say to not orgasm and do "karezza" but I'm not even doing that i'm simply kissing my gf. I've gone from DE to PIED to now PE which hopefully is the final stage, it was worse a few weeks ago as it felt i was going to O even when my penis grazed across me leg but now its only when i engage in sexual activity. I think it's something to do with my dopamine receptors? I think they are still repairing and a sudden hit of dopamine from kissing links to the PMO? i have no clue. I have been meditating the past week, working out at least once a day. But whenever that sexual activity comes along bam right back to where i started. I love my gf very much before anyone asks if i love her or even find her hot. (i do like alot). From what i'm guessing with the mix of sex and pmo in my addiction i became a sex addict and an orgasm addict? Also after I engage in any arousal with her the chaser effect appears and i start to imagine her more sexually etc etc. People see this as a good thing (Which it is considering where i was a few months ago) but the depression and anxiety all comes back which i don't like at all. I haven't found anyone with the same problem as me so please if someone can help me and tell me what I need to do or the science behind this is that will really help. Thank you.
I think you need to see a therapist and consider working on the depression and anxiety. Then also work on avoiding orgasm and building up those muscles. It’s a very hard thing to do, but it’s worth it. Don’t go backwards with PMO because you have made great progress.
First focus on mental health. Spending so much time thinking about PE/PIED/DE/ETC is simply messing with your brain and it's probably not helping.
I'm not really sure what you mean about "superpowers" but I would say the chasing these superpowers is probably not healthy. We can easily set up an idolized fantasy of how we believe things should be only to be crushed when reality shows us otherwise. Back when I was closer to your age I remember seeing late night programs where where a woman was talking about orgasms. Before that I never thought about orgasms. After, I began chasing the orgasm to see what this wonderful thing was supposed to be. Today I believe I had an unrealistic expectation as to what an orgasm was supposed to be. Some thoughts to consider: - Learn to delight in your GFs happiness. This is not to say to be dependent on it. There's more to our partners happiness than sex, though sex is a part of it. - There's more to our own happiness than sex. - Each of us is to be the best we can in any given moment, not who we believe we should be. We are who we are. Our performance sexually is what it is at the moment.
