Longest streak now worst ever relapse with cuckold thoughts :(

30M

About 6 months ago I became single for the first time in ages, giving me the motivation to quit porn. I kept it up for 5 months, had a bit of a nasty 4-6 weeks of flatline initially but then my confidence hit the roof and I effortlessly seduced 4 different beautiful women.

At some point a variety of stressful situations happened and I began turning to masturbation as a release. I had allowed myself the occasional nap without porn and even restricting mental fantasies, and found that very enjoyable intense and rewarding just 1-2 times a week. However the stress triggered me to turn to it as a release which is a problem I have always had with porn/masturbation.

Pretty soon I got back into porn and worse than that, I started delving into cuckold/sissy fantasies. As a natural dominant person who actually practices domination in my sex life, this was very upsetting but at the same time would always get me off many times per day. It even got to the point, where it hadn't previously, where I contacted former fwbs and encouraged them to roleplay with me as a cuckold, which made me feel sick afterwards.

Doing that with real people made me feel I had crossed a line. I am about to move city and I have about 6-8 dates arranged with stunning women that I have been getting to know online and they are very excited to meet me, and here I am with a pathetic death gripped abused dick fapping my life away yet again. If they could see the state I'm in in this relapse they would run a mile.

Am I looking for excuses? No. Am I look for sympathy... maybe a bit Most of all I'm just looking for some motivation. Remind me this can be done long term, not just short term. After those 5 months free I thought I had kicked it, but I guess not, and it's very upsetting to see that when you relapse you go straight back to the hardcore toxic stuff

Specifically I would like to hear success stories with regards to fully purging cuckold thoughts.