Long overdue hello

Hello everyone.

It's funny, I didn't think I'd need to do this. But it seems I am wrong.

I've overcome addictions to drugs and alcohol. Neither are a part of my life anymore and neither have any power over me. This has been true for about 4 years now. However, pornography was my very first addiction and is proving to be the most difficult to give up.

I first started trying to abstain around the time I gave up drugs and alcohol, in the last 4 years I managed to bring my use down from daily to weekly. I got to a point where I was free for a little over a month and then relapsed. It seems the more I try, the more difficult it is.

Relatively recently, I took the leap and told my wife about my problem. She knew about the drugs and alcohol and was very supportive and really helped me facilitate the changes I needed then. I'm incredibly lucky that she is so supportive of me again and has agreed to install blockers and filters on my devices.

Unfortunately there always seems to be cracks in the security that I find in my darkest moments.

It's very important to me that I overcome this, I've chosen a career specifically with a desire to help others, but I feel like a fraud when I am still struggling so deeply with this addiction.

Thank you all, hopefully as a part of this community we can all move closer to being the people we want to be.

 

Thank you. Yes it's been a long journey of introspection with a few possibilities in terms of root cause, figuring out which practices are the right ones is my current pursuit. I see the inaccessibility as my training wheels as opposed to a solution.