loneliness/connection - help appreciated pls.

Hi everyone,

I love nofap it has been helping change my life. Lately I have also been trying ofr last 2 months going TO SAA 12 steps meetings and it has been helpful, however somethings is coming up today I wonder if anyone has any insights on what i'm about to share...

I'm feeling bit emotionally "raw at the moment" it has bene VERY HELPFUl however today I'm noticing that while it has helped me (I am currently at 2 weeks no masturbation NO PMO - which is great ,even if still detoxing the old database of porn in ht mind, so yay. I have a sponsor i just started this week.
they recommend whats called 90 in 90 which is go to as many meetings as you can for then, and while it is helpful I'm finding a lot of not much self love in peoples patterns and noticing that I want to connect with others not just about the "addictive" behaviours but more the JOY in life, I want o feel good and connect (including myself and what we call "higher power), with those that are feeling good.
I let me sponsor know this, again I'm grateful for others sharing but its getting a bit much Im realizing the feeing I am sitting with at the moment. I have committed to 90 in 90 but am now second guessing...i know the program is working as I have never done 2 weeks without masturbation since I was very young but to sum it up in 1 sentence
I WANT TO CONNECT WITH THOSE WHO ARE ENJOYING LIFE!
"where attention goes, energy flows".
Really appreciate any outside insights I may not see.