Life is Locomotion

"Life is locomotion. If you're not moving you're not living. But there comes a time when you've got to stop running AWAY from things and you've got to start running TOWARDS something. You've got to forge ahead. Keep moving. Even if your path isn't lit trust that you'll find your way." - The Flash

"Life ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward." -Rocky Balboa

I should be asleep right now, but I'm not. I'm awake because there is something in my life I have allowed to grow and harm my soul. It started with a picture of a cheerleader, then swimsuit models, followed by PMO. Hope of a normal life seems futile, but, little as it is, I still have hope that I can overcome his obstacle.

I don't know how I found nofap. I don't know why I'm here or why I'm posting, but I trust it is a step in halting my addiction. I understand it won't be easy, but it is for something greater.

Porn has ruined my life. I know, I know, you've heard that before. For my sake, and the sake of telling all, I'm going to explain how. Feel free to skip down as you probably already know what I'm about to say. It's killing me. I'm a rather short person, and, though I don't think it possible, I blame my height on my addiction. "If only I hadn't PMO I could've been taller." I can hardly interact with girls. Somehow a freaking phone screen has prevented actual interaction with women. I am considerably depressed sometimes because of my addiction. No, not to the point of suicide or suicidal thoughts, I could never do that. Nonetheless, to the point of hiding in my room, late nights, isolation, passiveness, and wanting to run away from everything. I understand not everybody has the same beliefs I do, and I respect that. But for me, porn has wrecked my relationship with God. It's already demolished my identity.

Today, I finally understand that something better exists for me. Today, I take the pledge to banish PMO from my life. 90 days as a short term goal. Forever as a long term. Yes, I will screw up. No, I will not stop fighting. If you have any advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it. The success stories are incredible to hear! If you want to pray for me, that would be awesome. I know, I know, I'm sounding like a religious nut, but at this point I'll take anything to stop PMO.

I chose the username Queen Oliver after the green arrow. He lived a life of recklessness before being ship wrecked on an island where he found himself. This is my island. I will fight with you guys. Sorry if that was long, but I really needed to share my thoughts. I could never see myself sharing all this in the past, but I have to do so today. Thanks.

 

Thanks for the advice! I'll definitely start using those tips! So far I've only been able to go about 4-7 days without a relapse, which is frustrating.