Life is beautiful.

I wake up and another day starts, my body is a little sore in bed. I stretch out my legs and a little euphoria hits. I look to my side and see I’m still alone, a sting of sadness hits me. I stop it there and smile at the beauty of such a thought. Instead of cutting it down, stomping on the beautiful flowers. I enjoy what I can, I enjoy that I even have the desire to hold someone in my arms. The birds chirping brings me out of bed, i stare at the window. My feeders i placed, the food I restock each day. I have myself a little community stopping by for a meal. To me that’s some purpose even if a while back I’d say “why waste time on those damn birds” it’s an attitude like that, that dialogue in your head. If that’s what you say to yourself about everything. How are you gonna enjoy life? Do you really think someone’s gonna bring you something to will turn it all around? Sorry but it’s not gonna happen, each day it’s up to us to keep our head above water. When you drown, you give up and stop fighting. You sink like a stone as the water fills your lungs. We do that to ourselves slowly, we allow ourselves to weaken. We do it to ourselves with this repeating record just digging deeper into our brain and heart. It gets to the point where you don’t even wish to live anymore. You are ready to surrender to anyone who comes along. If I had any advice, If I was useful in any way to you reading this. You must wake up and say “life is beautiful” smile until that smile is real, until you do not have to force it. It’s not fake it till you make it, there is so much beauty you are stepping on. We constantly dig and lose track of where we are going. Stop for a moment, sit there until the silence happens in your brain. Let all your worries play, let it reach the peak and feel it. Remember that feeling, remember the hopelessness. Remember the thoughts that weighed you down so much. Never try and cover them, never try and pretend they don’t exist. Be all of who you are not just the positive parts. You may be talented and skilled, recognize it. If you can’t look anyone in the eyes, remember that too because you need to be able to do that. You need to be able to express yourself without fear, that this passion burns so hot you need to let it out. We need to appreciate this life, we need to make it a life we can appreciate. If we do nothing we should just stop trying. Stop talking like you give a shit when you don’t. Be honest with yourself, even if you don’t like what you see. You make sure you see every part of yourself you can. See it in others and feel it, this world is a mirror to you. See your beauty and faults reflected in it, and never forget that life is so very complex. It’s a system we shall never understand to its full and honest extent. Wake up and stretch your legs, feel the euphoria of being in another day. You have another chance to shift your mind and your body. You have a heart that guides you to what matters. This porn stuff is obviously poison, it’s like those drugs taking our children away. It’s sick and pathetic to lie to us, to push us into these awful alternatives. When I see a woman, when I’m close to her. I feel such a warmth inside, I don’t understand how we can allow our minds to use these people. To strip them down and put them in such a vulnerable place. We all have desires, we all have lust inside of us. We need to examine it, we need to be realistic in our minds. Porn is fantasy, it’s this awful fantasy that is made up in makeup. Teaching us to see every woman as just a challenge to conquer. I mean maybe I’m starting to sound like a simp. But cmon do you really look back and feel proud of how you acted? Are you truly happy about your fantasies? Or are you addicted to the pleasure like drugs?. Do you even care to be a better person. If you don’t then you are wasting time here. Good you don’t watch that shit, you shouldn’t have to begin with just like me. I still feel alone and sad but I remember it everyday. If I’m ever given the chance for love again, I will not take it for granted. I cannot allow that to happen, for myself to be influenced by poison. I’m just one guy here, one wound up and whacky guy. You may look at me and not want to see me again. But we need to be honest with ourselves, why we are here.