Last night PMOed and couldnt sleep afterwards.

hey brother,
I am new to NoFap. I actually signed up five days ago. made a committment and then my ex girl came over and we had rs twice. and it was great. i told her about my committment the next day so she would support me. Super akward uncomfortable conversation but glad we had it. Either way i am not at 1 day and 10 hours.

Anyways my point in writing on your thread is that i understand what you mean. I can completely forget about porn for a week and a half two weeks sometimes three but then out of now where...always late at night ill be watching a netflix movie or reading a book and start edging subconciously and the WhAM i just cave with no resistance. Awesome O but then i feel terrible. Other times if i cant sleep i know that if i hit up some PM that i will fall right asleep afterwords. I dont have the answer for you but i want you to know i feel like i am in the same position as you.

 

MrNoMore, it sounds like your guilt with porn use coupled with your continued use of porn despite the guilt is eating away at your sanity. in other words, what it means is that you are addicted. you are observing your will power and self-respect fall away. like Thetimehascome, i'm right there with you. i only started last night and thankfully haven't PMO'd since then, but the same feeling you're describing here is what scared the hell out of me last night and brought me here. if you were doubting an addiction to porn, now is the time to reconsider.

 

I agree with zelemsan, it may give physical gratification, but it eats at you each time. Your body is becoming more and more dependent on it, so the highs and lows are getting further apart. At this point all I can say is keep slogging forward, pick yourself up when you fall, and keep up hope. This is a place for everyone to feel welcome and get help in their problems, so when your are tempted really bad, or fall really hard, come on down and talk. Go forth and conquer, brother.

 

I know what you mean about the "good" feeling. Giving into PMO after a long time is very rewarding to your brain, like it just got out of starvation mode. The trick is to starve it until the addiction withers, not while it still has life in it.

I've had an 82 day streak that I broke and felt amazing when I broke it. I can't describe how guilty I felt that I felt good. It was like a happy-go-lucky peaceful buzz I had for 3 straight days after that one PMO, and I felt extremely guilty about it the entire time, like it was blood money or something.

I think the problem lies in emotional attachments to PMO, things that we need to examine and detach ourselves from.

 

When we have a legit addiction, the body finds the substance/behavior so rewarding it affects our entire mood and perception.

The key is somehow remembering why even though your body wants it, YOU don't.

This is literally the hardest thing for me to do after I relapse. It takes such a long time for me to gather up the momentum to get back in the saddle because i get so drunk off the buzz I get from caving in. I'm not all there after I break a good NoFap streak.

 

There's no secret method or solution to this addiction. The only way is to be SELF DISCIPLINED and treat it like any other addiction. Don't let your urges control you. YOU control your urges. Just noticed you've gone two weeks without PM. Good job! Might feel like hell right now (when I was two weeks in, I was extremely paranoid and was aroused most of the day), but, you won't regret it. KEEP IT UP