I have undergone a successful reboot. Following a few hiccups I'm back on track and have been fully rewired. I believe I have a healthy view of women, relationships, sex, etc. However there have been some side effects that I have had difficulty handling. I value women, mutual trust, understanding, and companionship. But it seems I am obsessed with finding the right person and dedicating myself fully to them. I found a girl who I am very fond of that put me in the friend zone awhile back. A lot has changed since then and a new opportunity to see her again is on the horizon so I can't let her go just yet. I am really attracted to her, but not just physically; it's more a matter of how she is on the inside. That being said, I now go to a giant college and see literally hundreds of girls everyday and i never really feel interested. I want to find someone I'm interested in so that I can pursue them, but that initial attraction or crush has quit happening and I'm not sure why. Nofap gave me feelings for my oneitis when I didn't have them before, but now I struggle to find girls I'm interested in initially based off physical attraction. I definitely don't care just about looks, but I would be lying if I said looks we're not a factor. It seems like it is common to struggle to work up the courage to talk to girls but I'm trying to do that. My issue is that I'm not finding any that appeal to me. Idk if this is my oneitis getting in the way or if I need to be more realistic. Might be hard to give advice. Just thinking aloud.
Yeah seems hard to give advice to this. In the end you have to experience it yourself. It seems (and don't forget I'm just a random internet stranger that doesn't know shit) that you like this one girl so much that there isn't room for another. So you either could chase this lady one more time (know when to stop and move on) or free up your mind of her. The latter seems more healthy to me because she friendzoned you. Again, I don't know you and I'm not an expert, just sharing my thoughts
You have this girl you are interested in but she values you more as a friend but you cant get over the fact that she just wants to be friends. You haven't had much luck with girls or finding girls that are interested in you so when she was interested in you that feeling in your mind that she could be the one, You maybe found yourself planning on having her in your arms and enjoying her romantically so on and so forth. The fact is that you have become so infatuated with her even if there was another girl there you wouldn't notice because this other girl is constantly on your mind. Sound about right ? i'm just filling in the blanks with my own personal experiences/feelings But if i am close to the mark, You my friend are are a major crossroad which i happened to be at 10-12 years ago at. In my experience and what i done was i told her straight out that i like her, I didn't go into creep mode with the full amount of feelings but either way i was rejected but we still remained friends. The fact was even though i was rejected just getting the feelings out gave me this major sigh of relief and i was able to move on with my life. If you like her, either get it out of your system and tell her, Or if meeting up is on the horizon then wait till you meet up and see if the feeling is still there but either way you need to get your feelings out there so you can move on. I however could be completely wrong in guessing your situation
Your right. It's just easier said than done. Situation will change soon when I see her again. Hopefully she likes me back or I move on. If she says no Ill have to let her go as much as I don't want it to come to that.
I sincerely hope that it does change for you and you ride off in the sunset on your horse with her on the back.
Your assessment is spot on. I am going to tell her how I feel and hopefully she will feel the same or I will be able to move on. She rejected me once already and I couldn't move on. Ill spare the details, but I have reasons to believe things will go better this time. Still, if she says no I'm not sure it will be so easy to move on but I'll have no other choice.
And you too. I hope you ride off into the sunset on a horse. I have no idea why im speaking of horses. Maybe a Harley Davidson. Or a scooter if your learning to ride. Ah you get the point All the best with your choices
Haha thanks a horse would be nice, but I actually do have a motorcycle license. I should probably make sure my car is clean just to be sure though lol.
I think you should just be more open minded and talk to all women and be friendly and you will feel when you have found the right one I'm at a point where I'm totally focused on living in the present moment and making decisions based on whether this person or thing will add more stress or give me more peace and fulfillment also I'm just learning and feeling how great it is to finally accept myself for who I am and learning how I was my own worst enemy I think wanting and desiring is the root of all problems and now I'm learning how to combat that and just be happy and grateful for what I have and I started thinking from more of an abundance standpoint and not scarcity good luck
We all have an ideal Self, that perfect mirror image of ourselves we want to reflect for others to see. We all have the perfect idea of who we are as men: alpha, rich, strong, tall, our perfect idea-of-a-babe on our arm. All of those things in the end are fantasy. Do you really love this girl, or is it fantasy? Every step you take around campus, locked away in your mind dwelling on "what-ifs?" you miss a beautiful, cute, doey-eyed girl looking your way. See them for them, not who you want them to be. They are valuable, they have worth, and they need love, too.
Good advice and I'll follow it. But I got a chance to see this girl again so I'm going to go for it first. I like my chances and got nothing to lose. If it doesn't work out I'll start actively seeking other women in the wild but for now there's still hope for this one.
Oneitis happens to any man who was born with the weak ego, especially in the teenage and adolescent stages of his life. Try google the practice of ego-strengthening and you may find the sustainable solution for it.
The ego doesn't need to be strenthing it needs to be destroyed lol your ego is everything that your mind identifies with to create false sense of self your ego is a mask under your true self all of our egos have lead us to pmo time to take our power back
