Keep resetting...

I keep resetting, I used to be fap free for two years. Now I'm stuck on a loop since April, I cant get back, I'm losing hope, I hate myself tbh a little, now regular fap to me is fine but not good for me in general cause I feel I will ruin my life, this time, It's because I saw some arousing things on a app (clothed women but still revealing) now I'm freaking out
This is a bad sign I think. I'm worried.
I think fapping in moderation is fine for anyone, but for me, its mostly cause of the crap I run into, now do I look at it or think about it during? No, usually its just to the feeling, this time I kinda thought about a few girls I knew, especially the one I like, seems normal, but if its cause of the crap i saw, no go. Idk what your stance is on normal fapping in moderation and what I should be doing that's normal or consider it normal but I'm sure me failing due to images I saw without even thinking about them during the action is not really normal.