Yea just had a decent female escort after therapy good sex and she gave me her personal number and wants to go out, so that’s a bit of a confidence boost. But not really my type, not ideal job either lol. But feel more human than I do when leaving a nasty ts
Well I’m in the middle of the struggle to overcome this addictive behavior so can’t really offer any advice. I think the novelty just wore off. Problem is my wife decided sex would end for her 10 years ago so I have to indulge elsewhere or be abstinent
It’s a fucking tough one isn’t it? I’ve been battling it for years. I’ve got an awesome therapist now and really untangling stuff. Not long but a few weeks off the trans stuff and managed to pull myself away from the intense urges. Long way to go yet but I’ll make it
She was never very sexual to begin with but used to allow it for me. Once she hit mid 50s I guess she decided she had no interest or desire anymore not even to meet my needs.
Well done dude for staying strong and keeping away. I think I’m making progress with it, but when it comes along the urges are so strong and I’m convinced I love it and need it! Sometimes it’s just to stop the withdrawal though. I used to feel if I’d started searching it was inevitable that I was going to relapse so to see it to the end. ( something I’d learnt in the 12 step powerless bullshit) But many times I’ve got out of that thought mode and got past the urges for a while. I’m working at eliminating as many of my triggers and working on bettering my life so it’s less stressful. Also it’s making less sense to punish myself or put myself through all the crap that my brain is starting to associate with pain and suffering. But yea still early days stay strong.
Better off keeping it private, for now at least. I’m up for being honest but a partner does not need to know every thing that’s scarred us in our past. We’re dealing with it and it’s not going to effect our new relationships. We’ve experimented so what. There are good people on here to chat with and I’ve found the right counsellor has helped massively. I made the mistake of telling friends I was in therapy for sex addiction; they just think I’m going with female escorts and watch too much porn some will take the piss a lot and some will say it’s not really an addiction. Learning about what’s behind the urges and craving helps me realise what it’s all about. For me it is heavily tied in with trauma, shame and attachment issues. There’s a lot going on subconsciously and it’s escalated over the years. I’ve sometimes thought is this my thing! But we wouldn’t feel so bad and grossed out afterwards. And I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t want to wake up with one and kiss, have breakfast with, foster some kids together, go out for meals and holidays. For me it’s a fetish that has got out of control and just sex. Seeking novelty and taboo to escape shit feelings and stress and replace with a cocktail of chemicals our brain produces and gets us high on.
A girl friend is definitely what I’m working towards. But the easy quick fix of getting a hot escort is a short term solution that probably pushes me further away from getting something real! It’s hard to meet someone cool and hot as you get older though. And sometimes I just skip all the nonsense. But I guess if I put in more effort to the real thing I’d get more reward long term .
You’ve obviously got a lot about you, for a smoking hot professional escort to want to date you. Use that as a compliment to push you in the direction of what you really want.
I am pretty sure if I met a transwoman in real life up close I'd see minor masculine features that'd put me off. But I still find myself totally hooked on transwoman porn - and I'm less and less fussy their looks. I constantly find myself checking out the many local escorts and seriously thinking about it. Part of me thinks if I went ahead and did it I'd get it out of my system then that other part of me thinks I would feel like shit and regret it.
You’re edging doing that shit and tempting fate. Cognitive distortions (justifying and making excuses) “ I’ll just have a look but won’t do it.” I sometimes would say I’ll just call them up see what they sound like...20 min later I’d be just about to knock on the apartment door, heart beating out of my chest! It’s a slippery slope dude and I wish I’d never started it years ago. The more you do it the more hooked you’ll become. And yea when you start searching and there isn’t a decent local one or even in the next closest cities your standards will start dropping as you keep searching, because you’ll want the fix and get desperate. There are some real freaks out there and there’s a high risk of std’s. Save yourself all the pain and put it behind you. The shame from the first one will make you feel crap and subconsciously you’ll hate yourself making it a lot easier to loose track of values when triggered again. Like a fucked up feedback loop.
When I’ve been high on the adrenaline, suspense and dopamine and they open the door and resemble a hot woman you kind of go into auto pilot. Then as soon as you release you realise this isn’t a hot woman with something extra. Block all the porn ( that feeds it massively)and escort sites. And be glad you never pushed it any further
yeah I did similar things myself only a couple of times a few years back but has haunted me ever since. Sooner you get ahold of yourself the better, shits a nightmare. I recommend taking a look at yourself and asking who you really are and want out of life and write it down. Get rid of the porn, only have sex with biological women and not escorts period, start exercising and indulge your passions(not porn) and hobbies. The shame and depression may pop up now and again but all in all you will have achieved a better quality of life and will eventually be able to be your best self agin. best wishes
It’s pretty damaging shit but I would say as hard as it is try and do as much positive stuff in your life as possible understand you put yourself in a bad position and made a mistake. Depression and self hate is not the answer but continuing in harmful activities and watching twisted porn is only a downward spiral. As sick as it is to say this is how people probably become pedophiles or extreme levels of sick and depraved. I personally believe porn has no redeeming values and is negative all around at this point. Rebuilding yourself is hard but it’s the only choice besides depression and suicide which is not the answer.
Nearly did a month, but had the urge and went and visited another one earlier. Didn’t enjoy it, went soft, no excitement, couldn’t come. Put my cloths back on and went home. Much rather bang a woman. Glad it’s lost it’s thrill.
Man I’d just give it up. Get a gf quit porn and escorts. If you dont put your foot down you gonna end up with a girl and cheating with trans escorts. At least don’t act out better off jerking off and getting clarity than acting out man.
Dude it’s harder than it sounds. I’m getting there just a blip. My life is hell atm and I just escaped for an hour. No point beating myself up. I’ve had a lot to deal with and Im doing alright. Straight back on the horse I’m really glad it didn’t do it for me.