Just wanted to get this off my mind

I know what I'm about to say is nothing new, nothing special, but this my first time living so to me it is new to experience this, I've heard about it from people but the actual intensity hits when you yourself experience it. I am talking about rejection from the girl who was perfect for me(but I am not perfect for her, she deserves way better), I don't know why, I have faced a rejection in my past but that wasn't even close to the pain I'm feeling from this one... maybe because in this case I actually loved the girl and wasn't just merely attracted to her... let me start properly on this girl topic...
She was on my mind the whole time, all I wanted was a text from her, I would check my phone every few minutes to see if she texted(knowing damn well she didn't have a reason to), and when she didn't text I sent her reels, and texts so that I can get a reply, I was such a fucking loser that at one point of time it felt like my life revolves around her texting me, that was the only thing impotent to me, I've got very important career deciding exams coming up, but still I didn't give importance to studying, all I wanted was to talk to her for hours, this exact feeling I've been bottling up for a 2 years and recently she started showing more interests in the conversations and started sending me reels and stuff(because she thought of me as a friend), all that interest and attention and basic human kindness from her, made my stupid mind think that maybe she likes me, which just aggravated my infatuation to the point I couldn't focus on anything at all but her, so I thought fuck all thay and let me say it to her once and for all... that would be a victory as if her answer is yes then great if its no then I can finally move on with no doubts in mind, so I told her and she was shocked (obviously) because I said it randomly in a conversation and then she said that she sees me as a great friend and nothing more.......
Now that I have an answer, I feel empty, like there's no meaning to anything at all, whose text do I wait for? There is no hope... but I did confess to her because I wanted a definitive no so that I can convince my loser ass mind that she doesn't like me and I need to let go of the love that I had for her....
But she was so much like me, our thoughts interest were so similar it was like we were the same soul, her sitting next to me and talking to me felt so much like a part of me that it didn't even disturb my solitude, her presence would heal even the deepest wounds that I had....



(Considering all the emotional shit that I wrote above we can conclude that I was in love with someone who wasn't in love with me.... nothing new, many guys have gone through that and I need to stop romanticising all this and stop being bitch...)


As the title says, I just needed to get these things off my mind, I wish I could say all this to her, but I gotta let her be, and I too should focus on my life....


Any suggestion/advice/opinion/criticism is welcome and appreciated...

 

Thanks man!
You're right I did actually give her my heart quickly, I would be careful in future for sure.
I did have the idea that I didn't deserve her because I wasn't even close to how good she is, but emotions took over logic...

Since the day I wrote that post I've been feeling better but I'm not really sure if its because I'm actually moving on or because I started talking to her again but as a friend, she said she wanted to keep the friendship...
Although I think I'm moving on slowly everyday as I find myself thinking about texting her or a getting a text from lesser lesser everyday.

 

Damn, didn't know it was this common that it has name for it...
That does sound bad because I actually used to think that I won't date any other girl because there is no like her, I remember on the day after I told her about my feelings and got rejected I had made up my mind that I'm gonna still love her no matter what and stay single forever ...

(Sounds too cringe when I think about it now)

 

Thanks!
First paragraph itself sounds exactly how I felt

 

For sure gonna read those, all the things he's said in the link that you sent, are very real makes a lot of sense.

 

It's called infatuation. It happens.

 

I really relate to the last statement...