" just too little " i said ...

through all the times i relapsed , i was always telling myself something , that " i will not watch too much , i will not do it on purpose , i will not get to the part when everything gets filthy and horny and all that shameful stuff " but actually it all begins when i let myself get that " too little " .
u know ! i always hated when ppl make promises to me , and i found out i hated to do it myself too , because for four years and more , i've been teling myself that i will stop watching that P word , and the F word , and this will be my last time , but actually it was nothing but empty words , the proof is that i am still suffering from this sickness i knew 4 years ago .
i hate the fact that it's a shameful thing , that i do it away from ppl eyes and then i get myself together , wear another mask on my face and treat ppl as normal , i was crying my heart out for doing this .
for several times i was frightened that i will end up lesbian , or having schizophrenia !!!!
Actually , this thing has pushed to the edge of depression , and harming myself .. through all my nightmare that am still living through , i found out that letting urself get that too little will end up in u never getting enough !!!!!!!
May the force be with and within us , and may it works <3

 

exactly pal ! " don't try to control temptation , just run from it " thank

 

I think you can run from temptation but you will never be able to hide from it. Therefore you have to face it every time it arises. I did it. Many more people who quit porn did it. You must talk to yourself when this happens. You have limbic brain, that controls your emotions and drives, and then you have frontal cortex. Every time you have temptation talk in your mind, asking why am I having this craving, and what will I gain after satisfying it. That was the best thing I learned, is never run away from temptation. You embrace it. Put your full focus.

I am watching a video or doing something and my mind working, full of ideas. Click. An erotic scenes come into my mind. I stop. Focus on that and start questioning is it really my logical brain, or my primitive urges. It starts to make sense. And I feel powerful after beating that temptation.

 

i will my fellow ! ur advices are such a help for me , i don't want my lust to control me anymore , i am a healthy person and have a healthy mind , therefore i should never let anything control me

 

Hey welcome. Saw your post in the Christian thread. This is a frustrating journey at times but you can work this out. I fought this battle for so long and lost over and over and over. I tried one technique, one tool at a time and didn't have a plan to keep my freedom when I stumbled into it a few times along the way. What helped So many different little pieces all brought to bear at once.

First I built a foundation to fight from. Then an intentional plan. Once I got traction I unleashed every tool I could find in one massive press. After that it was just a walking step by step into freedom.

You can do this. You are wise for starting your battle so young. And you are not starting with the poor planning and strategies I began with. You have this nofap.com resource at your finger tips. Study the journals like a scientist use the flairs to see how folks are doing then study the journals of folks winning. Pick and choose tools and plans that fit your personality and story. Read the books that seem like they connect with you. You can walk this out little sister. You can own this battle and get good traction very quickly. Be Patient but be intentional.

Work out what pushes you toward PMO. Is it stress, boredom, escape. Work it out, pray it out, talk it out. Then use the search function to find folks tools to deal with your emotional pushes. You can do this. We have atleast one pastor in our chat group. He's recovering with the rest of Us. Daddy God loves you. He cares about your story. He doesn't want you to have to fight alone. We're some broken folks but we'll walk this out with you. Be strong and courageous.

Here is a the index ohh yah I built an index for my journal if your interested. I'm a fellow traveler broken servant cheif sinner servant of the King. Be blessed and Welcome.

Here is the link to join the chat. You know your curious. CLICK HERE FOR CHRISTIAN SUPPORT 24/7 Folks from all around the world on it. You are welcome to lurk for a bit. Your email will be visible to us. So if you sign up and want to be anonymous spin up a new one.

Here is a link to my journal index CLICK HERE

 

thank u xeno sure , i'll join that , thank u so much for ur help , hope it works finally , this has been so exhausting and i've got enough of it .