hey this seems to be a bit of a grey area. so basically i have just started dating someone. its nothing official but i do like her and things are going very well. now obviously the sex is a bit effected when it comes to intercourse and it takes for ever for me to cum. oral seems to be fine. but since starting this is it o.k to still have sex as this is a bit of a grey area and obviously i want to have mind blowing sex. i haven't told her about this and have told her i get 'nervous' which she has been ever so understanding about, but am a bit worried that if i say something like lets not have sex for 3 months she will eventually get bored and just find someone else. So is it still ok to have sex during your reboot i rarely cum from it anyways?
The main thing is not seeing porn and masturbating to it, the goal is to satisfy sexual urges with the real natural healthy option that is with a real partnet.
will this not effect the reboot then as there is a lot of mixed messages on this some people say do some say don't i would have thought it would help reconnect with actual people myself is there a period of time i should just not engage in any sexual acts or is it ok once a week?
If you are experiencing ED or DE then abstinence will get back full function quicker. If you choose to have sex then it will just take a little bit longer for ED or DE to go away...but it will eventually go away if you stay away from artificial stimulation. You also have to make sure there is no porn fantasy during sex in order to achieve an orgasm because that will set you back and keep those pathways open which you are trying to starve. My husband had ED about 70% of the time and we continued to have sex during his reboot. We noticed a major improvement when he decided to abstain from O for 9 weeks (after about 7 months of rebooting). His ED virtually went away after that. During those 9 weeks we still had great sex, except he didn't O and we didn't use his penis. We took all the attention off of his penis during sex which helped him rewire. You can still please her in other ways besides your penis and if she gets bored and moves on, is that someone you really want to be with?
so its best to just not O at all for the first period and then try to reconnect there after. I haven't actually discussed this with her but its quite a fresh relationship so its a bit of a touchy matter and i don't even know how to go about doing it. To be honest she doesn't seem like she would just go away because of something like this but i really just don't know whether or not tell her or not, and how to go about doing such a thing?
Just go with the flow with your partner, do things like going to the movies, go walking, show interest in other things and none sexual activities with her and if she enjoy been with you outside a bedroom she will stick by your side. Dont over think it too much, go day by day.
I personally feel having PIV with her isn't a danger. I have twice since I have gone NoFap and I had no relapse and feel great. You do not feel the same drain as you do from PMO and MO! It is different for some reason. I have read theories that you get a different hormone cocktail when you have actual PIV than other methods. This is why we are doing this. I don't think the reboot physically is that long, but to break a habit yes, but PIV is not PMO, in fact, I can assist. Now, that means you make love to her, not F her. It's about pleasuring her, attending to her needs, yours comes without saying. Foreplay, get warmed up and hot, get her warmed up and trust me, you'll perform like a stallion. I did and I am 49!
One more thing, be in the moment and don't fantasize, enjoy her. You can't use fantasy to get hard or O. Just be into her and the love making, the feelings, you satisfying her. It'll be great, trust me!
Well we met up and tried to have sex I didn't fantasize, and I really was there in the moment, but shock horror nothing was working downstairs. She felt bad, like it was her fault, and I had to explain everything to her. She was quite understanding with it all, I was shocked, she is even going to help me accomplish the 90 days. I just hope this stops by then. I guess the fact I can please her in other ways seems to go along way right now.
Everyone will have a different approach. Some of this is simply trial-and-error. I know many many people who don't O unless it's with their significant other. If there's no P involved, or P fantasizing during...it's potentially quite healthy.
