Just joined this group....looking for support....

Hi everyone,

I just joined this on-line support group because I have finally figured out after 40 years that one can actually masturbate too much, or more to the point, that I finally accept that my excessive (daily) masturbation habit has interfered with all of my adult sexual relationships.

I am coming up on the one-year anniversary of meeting a fantastic woman who after a lifetime of looking, I am sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with. We get along wonderfully, have much in common, come from similar backgrounds, and agree on how we want to move the relationship forward.

The only problem, and it is a big one, has been one that has plagued my relationships throughout my adult life. That I can't climax via face-to-face 'missionary' intercourse. It is upsetting to my partner and to me. We are making progress, but she and I are both upset that the only sure-fire way for my to reach climax is through oral sex. She is not against it, she is upset that that is the only way I can cum with her.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out the reasons for this. One, for all the of the porn that I consumed starting with Playboy Magazines as a kid, to Internet stills when AOL started, to currently spending a couple hours on line watching PornHub for just the "right" video, I have almost exclusively cum to a woman giving a blowjob.

I guess this could have started being raised Catholic and how certain sexual activities were considered 'acceptable', hand jobs and blow jobs chief among them. And how you can do those things with a 'good girl', but you only fuck a 'bad girl'. It's pretty embarrassing that something of that mindset still creeps into my mind as a grown man.

As an adult, I've been fully functioning doing it from behind, getting and receiving oral, but I've always had difficulty maintaining an erection during face-to-face 'missionary' style intercourse. And of course, when I start having this issue, it becomes a self-defeating "Uh oh....it's happening again" scenario, and I loose my erection.

The good news is that I found this website about a month ago and I decided to see what would happen if I could go 'cold turkey' on masturbating for the fist time in my life. This was very difficult at the start, given that I've jerked off pretty much every day since I was 13. But after a week, I found it fairly easy, and surprise, I had a lot more time on my hands as I wasn't wasting 20 minutes, an hour, or two hours looking for that "just right' porn clip to get off to. It was a revelation and right in line with what the guy in the intro video was talking about.

My girlfriend and I went on vacation to Texas for a week.....three weeks after my self-imposed ban on whacking off.....and the sex was outstanding. I came inside her effortlessly from behind doggy, through reverse cowgirl, and I was able to keep my erection missionary style with no problem. Just didn't cum that way. but for the first time got the sensation that I would be able to do it very soon with more practice and experience. It was wonderful, felt really connected to her, and she was very happy to not have to blow me to finish me.

So here's my problem. We got back from vacation and I was reliving the sexual scenarios we had in Texas, got extremely turned on, and went ahead and masturbated to climax a few times the first week back. Not good.

What was worse, was that I started searching for 'curvy brunette milf' (which is what she is) images on my phone [I have a porn block for websites on my phone, but found that I could still see images....and hell why not make it a gif....for a little motion..] I found myself right back in the wasting two hours searching for the 'right' GIF, and feeling really shitty about myself for falling backwards.

And worst of all, because of my masturbating again, when my girlfriend and I have had sex since returning from vacation, my cumming and erection maintaining during missionary have returned. Not as bad as before, but still interfering. She is upset, I am upset.

I have finally admitted to her my problem and wile she is very understanding, she is upset that I didn't admit this from the start. She has a string point, I was just embarrassed to admit that to myself.

I know what I have to do....stop masturbating.

But I am finding it very difficult to do on my own and think that by becoming a part of this community I might find men my age who have gone through similar difficulties and learn how they have overcome them. I could also use support to keep me focused on my goal, which is to finally have a loving, healthy sexual life that has face-to-face intimacy as the cornerstone. Blowjobs are great, but it would be a first for me and I'd like to experience this with my partner because she deserves it, as do I.

 

Thank You.

 

Thank You, I appreciate it.

 

I do indeed and thanks!

 

I am quite interested in her sexually and have yet to imagine that she is another person, which I think would be pretty alarming to me. My streak was 20+ days and I thought that I could 'cheat' which obviously I could not do. But the good thing is that I don't want to do it, which is new for me. Good luck to you and thanks for the reply.