Just failed again...

Hello!
I've been on PMO since i was around 13 years old. Today i am 27.
For some weeks now i have tried to stop PMO, been failing over and over. I've not slipped into a binge yet tho. And as of today i ended my longest streak so far(14 days). I started to peak at some porn and 2 minutes turned into 10 minutes and so on.
I came to my senses too late. When i realized that I've just failed AGAIN i wanted to cry, i almost started to god damn cry. The last time i shed tears i was 15 years at a funeral. So i decided it was time to sign up and hopefully stop being a so fucking pathetic as i feel right now.

Not a native English speaker and quite upset, so excuse my writing.

P.S I miss cutting down trees...

 

Thanks for your replies!

Just installed K-9, need a reboot(of pc) and configure it. Once its all set-up and done ill throw away the password.

That list, hit me. Bookmarked the rest, time to sleep. Thanks once again, really appreciate the time and effort

 

I'm definitely sure i made the right decision to join up on this site. I've slowly been adding some workout routines EOD, it feels fantastic. I'm also getting damn serious about breaking free from addictions and start living my life.

I've pretty much always been a gamer, it got way out of hand when i started MMO's. I got out of shape, the superpower you get from MMO's haha. So at age 16 i started to go for walks, adding up slowly. Got more serious about sleep and food. Finally i started to hit the gym, got pretty damn good progress imo. Lifting weights turned into my religion, i got into the whole health business, started to educate myself to become a PT. Except i noticed i suffered from DE, i took my training even more serious. About 1-2 years passed and DE was not a problem anymore, because i could not even get it up at all. It was the most soul crushing experience in my life, even up to this date. I felt like my life was over, what was the point of living if i could not use the most important muscle.
I did not take very much for me to shift my focus from my training to drugs. It started small of course, you slowly chip away at your discipline. I ended up abusing pretty much all the common, uncommon and sometimes unknown drugs. Studies went to hell, got kicked out from school, got some spare jobs, kicked out. Got a really great job and yeah, lost it as well.
I was basically living filth, good for nothing, completely useless. But i had my porn, games and drugs/alcohol. Lost more friends then i can remember and severely damaged my relations to family.
For the past years I've been working hard on getting rid of my addictions. Still i did not feel quite right. What i did not really notice was that my porn consumption skyrocketed instead. Still steps in the right direction. But it was not until i found out about nofap that i really REALLY FELT the changes.
Caffeine is completely out of my life since a few months and I've not done any drug races. I have to admit small amount of drugs have been involved this year, only as a 1 time dosage for those days. Its a huge deal for me. I drink considerably less when i do drink. Most recently it's tobacco i wanna get rid of, which is hard.
But with no PMO i do feel its possible to keep going, i don't have to look for strength outside of my body. Instead i get these surges of incredibly power coursing through my body.

This will probably be a bit of a messy read, went in without a plan haha. Never been a believer of sharing, I've been so wrong about so much in my life.
All i really care about is breaking free and getting out of this shit!

I will end this with a video that has helped me push through harsh times.