I don't think I should even be on here. I slipped, I re created a P account, and somehow even though I deleted my old P account my old user still exists with all the favorites and bookmarks and all so it's like I never even lost all my collection. I've spiraled and I'm in a place where I feel like I cant quit. It feels like a magnet, any second I feel like I can be in un noticed in my house I relapse, even when my roommates are home. I try to be quiet, turn on the radio or something to dull the fap noise, "go to bed early" and I'm where I was before. The feeling I got when I found my old collection was pure euphoria I felt like everything was/ is okay again. I feel safe, nurtured, and less stressed and anxious, I think to myself for the short streak that I was no fapping that I was Crazy, and why would I tourtière myself like that. The stress of everyday life is painful, everyone is just trying to make it through the day, everyone has coping mechanisms. And I've fallen back into my old hole. I don't really see quitting right now, maybe managing the stress I have during the times that I am not fapping, but once I get a chance I'm taking it. I'm coming to terms with the fact that the rift in my relationship is there, and that P is causing a wedge between us and it's almost like I don't care. I have this twisted urge to fap even more when ppl are home, I try and find a way to sneak away. Sorry guys I've failed.
@takezawa1 forgive yourself . No one will give you a chance. Except you. You want something ? Fight for it. Every fapstronaut's lives are messy. Deal with it. You stumbled, it's ok it happens sometimes. But get up, man. Do it. You're forgiven.
You're important to. Sit with and nurture that part of you that's hurting. You are worth it. Reset and put 1 foot in front of the other. 1 second, minute, hour, day at a time. Stay wity us. I'm glad you're here!
Sex is powerful. It is all around us. Even without the porn, we are going to get horny. Nobody said quitting porn is going to be easy. If it was that simple, then this Forum would not exist. When you are ready to try again, we are here for you.
