I've F@#ed it All Up

THIS IS ONLY IF YOU CAN'T STAY SILENT With her (as I am not sure WHEN the email exchange you mentioned before happened--recently or long ago): Something you said REALLY caught my eye:

Now, because I had tried to be the 'good wife' and kept my mouth shut for (far) too long, I can say this.

I would have LOVED for my husband to say something like this to me. So if you attempt to contact her at all, just know it was helpful to hear from my husband things like:

"In case you're wondering how I took our last interaction, I needed that. I needed to hear ALL of that from you--even your anger. I may even need to be blown-up from time to time. If you have stuff to say, you need to be heard by me. And I'm ready to hear you." ​

If my husband had been able to stay in this mode, I would have ranted and ranted and ranted, until I fell into his arms--anger spent and ready to pick through the pieces of my pain for healing.

SO, if you go this route (again, only if you were going to reach out to her anyway -- not prodding, just informing her) and IF you can stay in that mode, (without allowing it to turn into an abusive situation for you, where she gets used to abusing you, because I'm sure that's not the type of person she wants to become in all of this), then she might be willing to 'meet your need to be ranted on' like this. BUT it can become an abusive habit, so proceed cautiously.

 

AllanTheCowboy,

I am trying to get a PM to you but still figuring this out. I am very new to this great site.