Its been awhile, and boy did i mess up.

Beem awhile since ive posted and actively abstained from porn.

Recently myself and a friend at work were having an innapropriate relationship. Messaging each other back and forth and sexting, saying sexual things, ect. We have not had sex, though we did kiss on one occasion.

If you keep a secret long enough, sooner or later somebody is going to to find out, and thats exactly what happened. My wife found the messages on my phone and understandably, she's quite displeased with me. We've spent ten years together, built a life and have two beautiful children, and i have betrayed her and totally dishonored myself. I cannot look her or my kids in the eye without feeling shame. She does not believe in divorce, but her trust in me is now tarnished.

Its going to be a long road to regain that level of trust again, which may now never happen again.

I believe that the cause of this is my own insecurities, depression, and a longtime addiction to PMO. Ive learned that this addition can lead you to take things a step further in an effort to achieve a more powerful 'high' of sorts which cannot be attained through simple PMO.

I have promised my wife and myself that i shall set things right again, bybthe husband and father i need to be, and reclaim some of my lost honor. I need to kick this habit and stop objectifying women as sex objects.

Its gonna be a helluva long road.

P.S. in case you're wondering, i speak about honor because I have been trying to follow the code of bushido.

 

When you say "AO" do you mean 'achieving orgasm'? Because if so, then thats really not a concern at this point. My obsession with sex is what got me into this mess in the first place. Right now my main concern is to prove to ny wifr that i can be the good husband and father that i know i can be.

Besides, it hasn't been even a week yet, and i havent initiated any sort of intimacy as i dont know how she will respond at this point.