It’s time to give up porn

I’ve been a porn addict (and prior to that masturbation) for something like 20 years. Sometimes I have quit for long periods (months to even a couple of years once) but I’ve always relapsed. I struggled with PIED several years ago. I was sexually abused as a child, and my porn addiction started because of horrible thoughts about how I will never be good enough for a real relationship.

In my mid 20s, I found motivation to quit for several months, and found immediate benefits. I could finally date and have sex with real women, and this boosted my confidence. I ended up meeting my wife in this time frame. Unfortunately, she become horribly depressed and this took a terrible toll on our sex life. My anxiety and thoughts of abuse came back, and I’ve fallen into porn addiction again. My wife’s mental health is better now thank goodness, but she knows I’m a porn user and it is ruining our marriage.

I’m starting a 90 day NoFap today to get back my confidence, heal my mind and body, and make it possible to mend my relationship.

I intend to use this as a log to stay accountable and chronicle the struggles.

 

Day 3 is a bit tough… had a few urges but staying strong. Trying to find good distractions to redirect thoughts.

 

Came down with the flu, so it’s been easier the last couple of days. I’m starting to feel better so we’ll see how tomorrow goes.

 

Happy to say the streak is still going. It’s definitely getting harder the last couple of days… I’m back at full strength healthwise and have some more free time.

Whenever I’ve had urges I’ve turned to hobbies (reading again) or working on the house. So far so good. Right now I came in here to post as I knew this would help me stay on the right track as I’m struggling a bit today.

 

Unfortunately had to reset today... I didn't watch porn just masturbated, so I'll take the partial win. I still want to get to 90 days so back at it...

I lost my password to the site. Previously coming on here and posting was my best motivation so hoping to make it further now.

 

Very tough today. Was very close to losing my grip but instead I decided to make a post and do a workout. Time to clear my mind and get back to life

 

Have to reset again… once again at least I didn’t watch porn. I need to think about how to avoid my triggers at least for now until I get further from habit.

 

Well, to these older comments I don’t have social media at all so not an issue for me.

Unfortunately, had a reset and a couple bad days. Getting back on the wagon. It is getting easier the more I do this so I’m happy to be making progress.