It’s hard

This sickness of being addicted to porn and masturbation is hard, I hate it because it never satisfies. The false feeling it gives when you’re done pleasing yourself is always fleeting, there is no good in it. Some days are better than others but most days are horrible because every time I’m done I come to realize it’s not worth it, in fact it never is but in the moment or minutes leading up to it you feel like it’s the most important thing In your life, you deceive yourself into a false place of “its okay, you deserve it just this one time” friends I tell you it’s rubbish. Flee from temptation run away from it because when it grips you after you allowed it you have lost the fight.

I’m currently seeing someone actually the woman of my dreams I’ve told her of my struggle but she doesn’t get, she can’t and unless you’ve been through an addiction I don’t think you could get how much I want to rid myself of this habit that kills my time and spirit. I cannot blame her for not understanding I cannot blame her for anything really because she’s not at fault. But for the love of God I wish she could be more stern with me, I am an addict this thing is so destructive it’s ruining my bloody life. this is me for the day

 

I needed that thank you