Issues with self steem

By doing things you're proud of more than doing things you're ashamed of.

Focus on what you're doing and what's in your control. If your self esteem depends on things outside of your control (outcomes / other people's validation), you'll always be like a leaf in the wind reacting randomly to every external event rather than having a solid foundation that comes from within.

So what can you do today that will make you proud of yourself no matter what the outcome is? Do something that might not work. Something scary, difficult, uncertain, and outside your comfort zone that leads to you becoming the person you want to be.

 

This is a tricky question, but here's my take on it:

1. Stop negative self-talk.
If you concentrate only on your faults 24/7, you can't have honest conversation with yourself about all your great qualities. And believe me, there's a ton more of those than faults.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others.
You only see what you want to see. Especially in social media if you use it (Pro tip: take a 3 month break from social media and see if it makes a difference ). Everybody polishes their lives in social media and lets you only see the highlight reel of their lives. You only see their possessions and fancy dinners with their spouses, but you don't have a clue how bad their life, for example economic situation, really is. Yes, they might have beautiful house or luxurious car, but you have no idea how much in debt they are, and if you could see behind those scenes and see the price they have to pay to be able to have those beautiful things, you probably wouldn't want to have them knowing the price you have to pay.
Same goes in real life, cause you never see what kind life others live in reality. You only see their fancy clothes and handsome husband or beautiful wife smiling, but you have no idea how bad fights they have when others aren't watching.
Always remember, you only see what you want to see, and it's mostly figment of your imagination.

3. Find the reason for your low self-esteem and stop being a victim.
Search your soul and write down all those things that lowers your self-esteem. Then, separate them in two categories: Ones you can change and ones you can't. Fix what you can and let everything else out of your mind.
For example; If you have some issues with your body image (being too fat, too skinny, etc.) or something like that, there's always something you can do about it. You can't make yourself any taller or shorter (this goes into that "Can't fix" category), but you can lose weight and tone your muscle (which goes into "Can fix" category). Not a great example, but I hope you get the point.
You being in this forum is a perfect example: You're trying to make yourself better in one area of life. This same thing goes with everything else. Try to improve one thing in your life every single day, and eventually your life will get better.
Just remember that after all a, this is marathon, not a sprint, so you have to be patient.

When you slowly start to see your improvements in your day-to-day life, it WILL raise your self-esteem. Guaranteed. And when you get the proverbial ball rolling, your self-esteem will continue rising more and more. Remember that you can achieve anything you want when you really put your mind to it.

I know this might sound harsh, but these 3 points are those exact things that I've done to raise my very low self-esteem. I hope you find at least something helpful from this, and if you do, keep what works for you and throw everything else away.

May your voyage be calm and full of joy.
- Mike

EDIT: A typo. We dyslexics are teople poo...

 

What my therapist did to get me on track was ask me the things I enjoy doing that bring me joy. He then asked how I could expand on those things while keeping them non-sexual.

I did a lot of writing. Before my writing was all erotic material. But then I tried writing non-erotic based on the therapist’s suggestion and enjoyed it. Made me feel good and I had something that I wasn’t ashamed to show everyone.

Then I got into weaving mats, increased time at the gym, back to more traveling, and now getting into wall climbing. The results are beneficial, something that isn’t shameful to show others, and really helps distract me from going to porn.

I feel a lot better about myself now. This time last year I was making plans to kill myself, I was so low.

Hope all this info in this thread helps!

 

Overcoming real challenges is the best way to build self esteem. The challenges you choose to overcome depend on your interests.

 

Cool! Got a new motto now:

Spoiler: New Motto

Self-Esteem: Doing shit & proud of it!