I've recently decided my goal is to get married eventually which made not masturbating easy since I just need to remember that I have a goal. Unfortunately, porn isn't very easy to stop since I'm so used to looking at it that when it does appear I don't know whether I should look away or not since it just looks normal. My question is can watching porn intentionally be considered a relapse, and how bad is it to my recovery? Thanks very much in advance for any help you can give.
You might consider that a reset. You will bring porn into your marriage, "trust me" if you don't learn to stay away from it now.
In The Glossary^, it says: Relapse: For addicts, the act of returning to bad habits after a period of improvement. This is a serious word. Examples would include masturbating to porn (for a porn addict)... Are you a porn addict? Most definitely. As you said: "Porn isn't very easy to stop since I'm so used to looking at it that when it does appear I don't know whether I should look away or not since it just looks normal." That is clearly the mind set of a porn addict. This is a porn recovery website and Porn, Masturbation and Orgasm are all things which you would reset your counter for. How bad is watching porn for a porn addict wishing to recover? As bad as it can be, quite honestly. This is serious shit pal.
If you haven't already done so, please read the "Getting Started Guide" available on this site's home page. It includes a lot of information that you will find helpful as you start your journey of healing. Also have a look at the "Glossary" on the top of this page for definitions of abbreviations and terms that may be new to you. One day at a time is how we all succeed.
In my experiance the porn causes the most damage - I would consider it a reset and avoid it alltogether.
