Is this normal or am I damaged?

Touch without porn doesn't really make my penis feel good. Also my penis usually feels numb in the mornings. The only time rubbing my penis (example, pulling foreskin back and forth) feels good is when I'm looking at porno and listening to the sounds of it. Otherwise it rarely feels good. Is this a normal part of rebooting or is my dick forever damaged?

Also it wasn't that numb in the mornings when I first started rebooting, even feel good at times but lately it feels somewhat numb with morning wood. Only after my MW goes down and I get aroused in the morning it starts to feel good when I semi kegal it. Also without porn touching my head/pulling foreskin doesnt feel very good and only feels great when looking at porn. In fact I almost climaxed a few times to porn and some dirty pictures but without the aid of porn my masturbation techniques are either numb or not very pleasant. Can I expect this to go away with time?

 

what steps should I take? so far I'm just exercising 30+ mins a day (using bike with high reistence) and have crafted a diet to help with nerve function and weight loss. I also take a multi-vitamin at least once a week. Would you recommend I just continue avoiding all masturbation? Also sometimes for no reason my dick feels kinda itchy/extra sensitive and I get extra horny on those days then it disappears. My dick was rather numb first couple months into REBOOT then it started to get better and most sensation returned. I never really like rubbing on its own without psycho-stimulation, even before my problems. Anyway like I said, it feels REALLY good when I'm looking at porn, like I make huge amounts of precum but without the aid of porn I don't really feel any pleasure :/ I fear it only starts to feel good though as I'm climbing to climax (no pun intended). I just hope it continues to get better over time. I have no numbness through out the day btw, just in the mornings it seems to happen a lot. Also the first few months my wet dream orgasms didnt feel good and kinda hurt but since beginning of last month they started feeling good again and all discomfort went away and since last time I tested with porn my masturbation session and near orgasm felt amazing. I chose not to cum because I didnt want full blown relapse and loss of progress but I know for certain it would've been phenomenal. I guess I'll continue to let things heal on their own and abstain from touching myself.

any advice would be great though.

 

Thank you, that's what I was hoping for. The fact I can experience great sensation through porn kinda proves the nerves in my dick aren't physically damaged. Phew, what a relief. I was also relieved to work out eventually my vascular health is fine. I was TERRIFIED in the first months then I discovered yourbrainonporn and read/watched videos and became very relieved to know this is reversible and yes I know, I made a big no-no by eding in the middle of my reboot, but I had to know, I had to know the nerves still worked and my orgasms could still feel good. I'm just so fucking relieved it's in my brain and not my dick. I can finally relax during my reboot now and take things easy. You have no idea (or you do) how depressing this was before I realised it was a brain issue, not a broken dick issue. Maybe life will give me a second chance after all.

I'm meeting a great girl overseas in 4 months and I feel as though I am capable of pleasurable sex now but I still hope in 4 months I'll be more functional than I am now. I believe if I were to try have sex now I would probably still need aid in getting 100% erect and I would probably PE and I fear more that I would fall back into flatline quickly. I'm just relieved it's not a direct nerve damage issue and purely just the chemicals and messages my brain is sending and responding to. I know I can beat this. I went from feeling suicidal only 2 months ago to starting to feel life again in my brain and downstairs.

Thank you for your post. I'll let you guys know how things work out in 4 months from now ;-)

 

Hmm well let's see....I've quit PMO a couple days before March this year I believe and I tested several times through these months. Nothing compared to yesterday though, that time I really was edging. Earlier times I looked at porn to check on my dick because I feared vascular issues (ruled out now, dont worry) and since I figured out it was all because of porn I only got aroused multiple times from talking to a girl online and I semi-masturbated to her once or twice (I know its bad).

I've been bit of a fapper all my life, even as a kid I would get horny and play with myself. I never properly masturbated until age 19 though. I started having sex with one girl from age 17-19 and when I broke up with her around age 19 I discovered fapping some many months later and back then I could reach orgasm through fantasy alone. Then I started using porn. Probably daily for 6 years. Sometimes I would take a break for 2-3 days at the very most. It was usually once a day or every 2 days though. As time progressed my urge to seek higher fetishes increased steadily as I wasn't getting off to vanilla stuff anymore and thoughts alone and I started getting into the chaser effect. As in needing more extreme porn and fetishes to get myself off. I think around end of feb before March I felt a break figuratively speaking, like I reached a point where my dick and brain just couldn't handle it anymore. Right around that time I started speaking to this girl too so I decided that I wanted to quit for good because I finally felt the effects of the damage I was causing to myself. I would also edge very often, in fact, most masturbation sessions involved me edging. Sometimes I would edge on and off for hours in the evening and very casually too. I couldnt control myself sometimes, even with family up and about in the house I still had to make myself edge. I was never a more than once a day fapper though. Even when I was having sex as a teenager I rarely fucked more than once a day. Sometimes I'd go twice if it'd been a while and I'd go 3 times when I first started making love to my ex gf but I felt 3 times was too much because it'd make me sore and my ejaculations were small.

I should mention in the last 2 or 3 years my PMO + edging would be a nearly daily occurrence.

 

Yeah, compared to some stories I've heard they dont seem all that extreme but I've definitely really felt the effects of PIED. I guess my history is one thing I've got going for me, so I imagine once with a girl I'll be able to get hard at least almost as well as I do with porn because I'm already wired to it.

I hope my recovery is relatively short, I've been going through peaks and valleys in these last months, if I go ultra hard mode in the next 4 months I expect a lot of improvement (hopeful). I plan to go without porn forever, I hate the stuff now. I'll admit the first few months of my reboot I was 100% put off, I was afraid of it and disgusted and only just now in this month I've started getting urges again (I'll take that as a good sign my libido is returning).

I really hope you are right, I dont want to disappoint this girl in 4 months. I know I'm technically capable but I dont want to risk flatline after one round of sex, you know? Plus my fear of not being full erect without porn as well. Via normal arousal/masturbation my EQ varies a lot but its no where near as good as my porn EQ. I hope I can get fully hard for her without porn, I know she'll take it personally and I need to make a good impression on this first meeting. I know she's the type that would understand my problem and accept it will take time (she knows Ive got a dodgy history of things) but I also know first impressions are important. I'm not worried about performance anxiety btw, if I'm with a girl I have an emotional connection with my anxiety doesn't come into play. Only the several times I couldve had sex with randoms I got performance anxiety.