Is there any hope of reversing escalation from porn addiction?

As someone who has been addicted to porn for about 18 years, first thing I would say is that this is totally normal and that I definitely can resonate with this. In fact this exact reason was one of the reasons why I kind of "Woke Up" to the reality that I had an addiction to porn. I was watching some really nasty shit and realized that this was only going to get worse. It was actually what helped me realize I needed to reboot and motivated me to do that. I know its not much but you are definitely not alone and I just encourage you to keep trying to avoid it. I have seen for myself after rebooting the fetishes have diminished substantially and I can get aroused by "normal" (if you will) things now.

 

Have you read (or listened to the audiobook) Your Brain On Porn by Gary Wilson? It talks about the very thing you're going through, and it'll provide you with hope, because there's lots of stories of people who have been through this and come out the other side. Its definitely given me hope. I would also say, is don't be too hard on yourself. It's going to take time and repeated efforts to get out of this habit, but you can definitely do it. One day and moment at a time, and checking in with community will help a lot too. Small progress, is still progress.

 

Not sure about reversal but you can certainly work to where you don’t desire/seek it.

 

I can tell you that in my personal experiences with porn, when you stop watching it, those things you escalated to will no longer be something you want to watch. I do keep it in the back of my mind that it's always there so that I stay mentally strong and away from porn

 

Brain is plastic, man. Change the input and you will get a different output.

 

What you're not 'into' now can definitely be what you're 'into' next year in this process. Some of it really depends. Fantasies vs. fetishes are kind of two different things. There are things you're probably okay with in the online context that you wouldn't actually enjoy. I hate saying it, but some of it will linger for a long time. The good news is...rebooting and resetting has a powerful impact on it. You'll be able to look back and realize it wasn't you...it was a monster you fed then starved. You'll be able to push aside the 'I want to go see/engage with xyz' pretty easily and go 'ew no...I actually really don't'. Those things are food for the porn addict monster...and the less its fed, eventually it grows weaker and weaker.

 

I might also add, your statement 'it disgusts me and I feel awful every time I relapse. I hate it...' is the true you--not the habit, not the action of doing it or viewing stuff, none of that's the true you. The true you is disgusted by it, which shows that deep down you don't identify with the things you've viewed that offend you and currently feel like they have control over you, which means that in time these things can be reversed. Truth is that over exposure to anything deadens our sensation of it. Have you watched tv shows were contestants have to live on a island for a month or two and live off nothing but bland beans? When they're finished and eat something as simple as fruit, they think its the most amazing sweetest thing ever because their taste buds haven't been bombarded with sugar or sweeteners for a while. It's the same with porn, the less you are exposed to it, the more your true feelings and turn on's will return. Hang in their bud, one day at time, you'll get there.