Is PMO the root of all problem?

Great questions! Try contemplating this: Fear feeds lust, lust feeds fear. Repeat endlessly.

 

Should I quit to improve my life, or improve my life to quit? Is it possible to do both simultaneously? I believe PMO is a problem but I don't know about the root cause...

 

I've never read it quite worded that way, perhaps use this inquisitive nature in your growth onwards.

 

It's an interesting question. And the answer is both. However, the PMO suffering is much greater and exacerbates the original problem. It compounds it tremendously. I believe that some sort of emptiness/pain/trauma is the root of the issue and shame is usually linked in there as well. But these feelings I think are manageable if given the proper treatment with some type or types of therapeutic work. However, the damage that PMO causes is NOT treatable unless you abstain. There is no way to heal the pain from PMO immediately after doing it. You have to stop the behavior and treat it that way. It's like you can't treat a flesh wound if you continuously stab it, you have to let it heal and treat it while it's healing without reinfecting it. PMO is a way to constantly keep shooting yourself in the foot so to speak. The suffering comes from both. But the suffering can stop if you treat the emotions and the root problem, the suffering will not stop if you continue to PMO.

 

I think by abstaining from ejaculation in general, we get the physical, mental, and spiritual power to conquer the obstacles that life throws at us.

 

I'm not sure I agree. It depends on the context I would say. I think it's good to have 3 months away from all sexual activity if you've been using P or PMO. However, eventually it's good to find a partner and there's nothing wrong with sex if it's a loving situation. I think it's even okay to have some casual sex if you're not ready for a relationship and everyone is respectful, honest, no one getting hurt etc. But I agree M and PMO no good. O with partner good and O from a dream, that's just nature doing it's thing. Can't get too rigid with this stuff to the point of insanity. Porn is insanity that's the point... anything to get away from that assuming it's not something worse. I think some people fall into the trap of saying stuff like no M no O no nothing!!! And then they end up relapsing on porn every other week. Be good to yourself, live your life, just stay away from P and PMO and you'll be golden!

 

I agree with you with most of what you said.. however, there are some people such as myself, that even ejaculation from sex causes me anxiety and a big loss of energy..

For now, I have no choice but complete celibacy so my body/mind can recover

when I am in a weakened state from ejaculation, then life becomes a lot harder

 

It’s been said that drug addicts do not have a drug problem, they have a being problem. Something they are hiding within is manifesting and turned into a beast as a kind of outlet to try and vent and escape that problem/pain/negative self belief. PMO is definitely considered a drug, and a major one at that. So saying that the drug (PMO) is the root cause would not be accurate in my opinion from studying addiction, rather it is the symptom of much deeper human problem. No one ever said it would be easy to be human. In fact, quite the contrary: To be alive is the most terrifying yet fulfilling thing you can ever do. And PMO and drugs are the opposite of life as they attempt to hide and numb out of fear, pain, shame, and worry.

Should you quit PMO to better your life? I would say it will definitely help you gain clarity as to why you’ve spent so much time in PMO. In fact, your question can be answered many ways. My answer would be that the root cause is something deep within that hurts and because of PMO blinding you from it, you can’t quite grasp what it is or what the depth of that void within is. So quitting PMO can give you a full on experience of that void and that pain. Which is why it’s SO hard to quit. We don’t like to look into the void because the void will indefinitely look back at us and tell us things we do not want to hear. So quitting PMO will bring you clarity to see what the root cause is, allowing you to learn more about yourself and open up to more healing. Look at it as a cycle of discovery. It will hurt but it is going to be worth it. And remember this mantra: Keep it simple. When quitting, do your best to focus on the good things you can do and build, spent some time in reflection, and take it one day at the time. Don’t try to figure it all out at once because it is impossible to do so. I really hope this helps my friend. Much love and best wishes. Let’s recover!

 

I've been there. I hear ya. I remember one time in particular many years back I had a really bad relapse after I was triggered from having sex with someone who wasn't ideal for me. So I get that it can happen. I think if you have 90 days or more away from PMO, having sex if it's an appropriate partner shouldn't have quite that same effect especially if you're in a relationship. You know yourself better than anyone else, so part of this journey is giving yourself what you need or having the appropriate boundaries. There are also tools or self care techniques to do when you're triggered to stop it from escalating.

 

Trying to be other than what you are is the suffering and that is the conflict you have. All drifting habits are part of escaping mechanism from the suffering and conflict.

An eagle don't have to try to be an eagle, but to be like a hen, it has to put all the efforts to fit into the hen character.

Be yourself!

 

Suffering is experienced by almost every human but in the case of recovery, PMO is the result of an attempt to escape from suffering.

Yes it is. Addressing your other issues will indirectly make PMO weaker.

PMO is definitely a symptom, despite many believing it is the root cause.

Quit to improve your life. Improving your life while stuck with a PMO addiction isn't easy.

All really good questions