I'm not necessarily an unconfident person, and generally get on fine with people, but I often find it hard to take a friendship to beyond just small talk and take it to the next level. One thing I feel that I'm lacking is a bit (a lot?) of charisma (probably a trait inherited from my dad, whereas my brother seems to have a lot more of it). Is it something that can be developed?
Is there a particular character in a movie you always liked? Try adopting his mannerisms. Even if you think you're doing it wrong that's ok. I have had social anxiety and someone told me I'm the only one in the world who thinks I do. Can I change how I feel inside? No. But I've fooled other people so I'm halfway there.
You know, charisma is a thing that definitely helps in attracting peoples' attention and make it easy to influence some one's impression about you(in a good way). But I really think that you are trying to find a problem outside you - because charisma is what is most likely given from the birth + inherited after(from a relative or a teacher, mentor). If your aim is to easily make new friends and then put it on the new level you should better focus on the person you're trying to deal with. Dale Breckenridge Carnegie is a must to read)
Instead of wondering about charisma, pop over to the Art of Manliness and learn some solid ways of being a man. Charisma may be less important than how you project your self.
My confidence boosted a lot after I studied a 10 module series (roughly 10 hr) by a guy called Jordan belfort. It was designed for salespeople and focused on tonality (tone of voice), language patterns, body language and unconscious buying triggers. It was developed so that the salespeople could control the sale but the same principles could be used in day to day linguistic encounters. Ithe drastically altered the way I communicate with other people and also myself
Fragrance can help. Get some samples and find one you like, it's lots of fun! It will slightly change your vibes. Just don't put too much on and smell like a granny.
I always heard that charisma is innate trait, something you are born with. You can learn about charisma, but cannot be charismatic 24/7. I believe there is a book called the Charisma effect. I think a person can become more charismatic if they improve themselves physically and mentally.
To me, charismatic people seem to be those who are the most natural, those who don't pretend to be somebody else. You can be a silent person, a shy person, but those don't negate your charisma. Being confident about what you believe in might be a way. Then again, there's that "false charisma". Some people seem charismatic, you want to follow them, but in the end they turn out to be liars. There're numerous examples in the world's history, right? It may sound stupid, but "being yourself" (whatever that means) seems to be the best way to level up your charisma (of course, throw away your addiction, because it's not the real you then).
