Is cheating an "end-all" for you?

I think it's individual, I know there are some in here that did stay when the addict took it to real life. For me, I am unsure of how I'd handle it. I think it would depend on whether it was a one night stand or emotional. For me emotional would be worse. So again it depends. Was he honest about it or did I catch him? That would be probably the thing to determine whether I would stay. If he came forward about it, was honest, and said he wanted to work it out, I'd stay to see if it could work. If I caught him, after all we've been through, I'd probably leave.

 

A one time thing, I'd likely stay and work it out. But it would depend on the circumstances.

 

I used to think so, but that’s before I realized there’s underlying addiction... I used to look at it like- if he cheats he must not love me, therefore there’s no reason to stay. But I know my husband loves me- he’s just been under this addiction since he was 12 years old. Now it’s not the fact he “cheated” because I look at porn as cheating- pretending he’s having sex with many many women (and my daughter... ugh)... it’s more the fact he lied about it the whole time- if he’d told the truth, there could have been help for him prior to the step daughter fantasy. So- I have to say now that this has happened- I haven’t left yet... so I obviously don’t think cheating is an end all... for me. But I’m still processing and deciding...

 

Not sure looking from the cheated on perspective if I could truly ever forgive despite the circumstances. I lost all respect and romantic care towards a girlfirend who cheated on me, however the relationship was not at a more serious level.

 

It's hard to say. I've always said I wouldn't, but I feel P is cheating already, not on the same level as being physically with someone else, but still cheating and I'm still here.

 

I think if it was a one time slip up and he was honest I would consider staying but otherwise I could not stay and that’s really my own self awareness. I know I could never forgive it nor could I forget it. So it’s useless and unfair to even try. The cheated on imo needs to st least be open to forgiveness. If that’s never going to happen the relationship will be miserable for both. But others may feel differently.

 

It really boils down to trust. Do you think you could trust the person again? If you can’t then your relationship will be miserable.

 

Agreed. Often times the cheater or the person who has broken trust in another way such as a pmo addict wants so badly to repair the relationship. But if the person who was betrayed truly can never forgive then that relationship is going through be hell for both of them. Sometimes the damage just can’t be repaired and it’s best that move on for both parties.

 

Agreed. Trust is what gives a relationship life, and once that’s gone the relationship is dead. Sure, trying to resuscitate is fine and sometimes it works, but when it doesn’t then it’s time call the time of death and move on.