I first joined this forum back in 2017. But did nothing with it. Then yesterday it me like a brick wall that I have to do something about my PM addiction that has been going on for so long and is so normalised in many ways. Past effort to get rid off it by my self have led nowhere, I need a community to help, support, guide, inform and strengthen me. The straw that broke the camels back was watching porn while my two young children where playing next door. I'm keen to reboot and learn from others and be inspired by their stories of success. One phrase that I read on a journal thread that particularly struck me was that giving in to temptation or sticking with the reboot, you are going suffer either way, so you may as well suffer in order to succeed. In particular I'd be curious to know if anyone can give me advice about how to broach this topic with my wife. I think she has some idea of the issue but no idea of its full extent. Any other advice is welcome too. In particular I am keen to get a much broader and deeper understanding of how porn has damaged my relationships with women in the past, with my wife and with myself. At this point I don't have that clarity yet. Instinctively I feel that in order for this to work, a 90 day challenge should focus on PMO, not just PM, but keen to hear in other people's thoughts on this.
Welcome! I really liked that phrase so thank you for sharing! I didn't ever had any relationships so I can't help you on that. I have however an advice for you that even though I am new here, it does seem to work for me, which first of all is as you also wrote try to recall the harm that those videos have caused you and think of how much you want to CHANGE and at least for me that gave the right motivation to become the BEST me. Also based on what I read, you are describing a challenge and correct me if I am wrong, I think is the wrong way to approach this, I think you should not get obsessed with it, try doing other things, focus on your work (if you are working), on your children, start a new hobby, workout. Use your free time SMARTER and give in to things that are going to be worth in the long run! You took the right decision! Become a BETTER you for you, your children, your wife!
Thanks for your advice ThinkSmarter, you do your name justice. I'm only on day 2 so there a road ahead, but as you say, learning new behaviours and engaging in new activities will be key. Keen to hear any more advice...keep me updated on your progress.
I am glad that I helped! Stay strong! I have started a reboot log that I update daily if you are interested: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/my-journal.332206/
Hey Alexander. Thanks for your story. I can totally relate about kids in the other room. It may be the most powerful motivator for me. I’ve also been on and on. My own journey with other addictions has taught me that staying close a group like this one is the way to go, so I hope to see you around.
I hear you. I feel low when kids are in the other room. As for the wife, I've shared but I don't think she understands the daily struggle and just assumes that it's something that's been conquered. Hard to talk openly without judgement, if that makes sense. That's why I'm here. Thanks for your share.
