Instagram and dating "norms"

cleaningupmyact · Mar 11, 2024

Just sharing here - might be a bit triggering FYI.

I had a relapse recently from a really good streak ive been on (and its been GREAT, omg). but I keep getting in situations that are sorta flirty / dating things causing me trouble. I go back and forth but I think more and more I cannot date until I get to 90s days again. This is another example....

I meet this woman and she instantly starts hitting on me. like, it was pretty abrupt. telling me I have beautiful eyes and complimenting my clothes and stuff. she was coming on real strong, even though she didnt know me at all. we chat a bit and I get her number and she goes "I left my instagram there too."

I go home, and tell myself Im not gonna check the insta, cause I hate that stuff and Im doing PMO anyway. but then my brain was like "well, clearly she wants you to check it or she wouldnt have said that."

so I check the damn thing and its...50% at least of her posing in the mirror, taking off her shirt and shit. nip shots and the account looks like softcore porn. This lead to relapse pretty quick. Lesson learned (I hope).

I talked with a friend about this, and theyre telling me this is the dating norm nowadays. I think its sick. I have seen more of this persons body on a damn scroll feed than I have in real life. Needless to say, shes been playing head games over messaging now too, clearly wanting some attention. Its real stupid.

Anyway else come across this? Is this the new dating norm?
Should I not date to avoid this stuff + relapses? how do people date without insta?

Unaddictme · Mar 11, 2024

I'm a little older and I don't have Instagram, but from what I've observed about young people nowadays, being very sexual and exchanging porn IS part of the dating culture now.

Also, just based on the information you've provided, it sounds like this might be a scam. I wouldn't be surprised if this "woman" will ask you for nudes of yourself and then threaten to share them unless you send money.

VictoriousMindset · Mar 11, 2024

cleaningupmyact said: ↑

Just sharing here - might be a bit triggering FYI.

I had a relapse recently from a really good streak ive been on (and its been GREAT, omg). but I keep getting in situations that are sorta flirty / dating things causing me trouble. I go back and forth but I think more and more I cannot date until I get to 90s days again. This is another example....

I meet this woman and she instantly starts hitting on me. like, it was pretty abrupt. telling me I have beautiful eyes and complimenting my clothes and stuff. she was coming on real strong, even though she didnt know me at all. we chat a bit and I get her number and she goes "I left my instagram there too."

I go home, and tell myself Im not gonna check the insta, cause I hate that stuff and Im doing PMO anyway. but then my brain was like "well, clearly she wants you to check it or she wouldnt have said that."

so I check the damn thing and its...50% at least of her posing in the mirror, taking off her shirt and shit. nip shots and the account looks like softcore porn. This lead to relapse pretty quick. Lesson learned (I hope).

I talked with a friend about this, and theyre telling me this is the dating norm nowadays. I think its sick. I have seen more of this persons body on a damn scroll feed than I have in real life. Needless to say, shes been playing head games over messaging now too, clearly wanting some attention. Its real stupid.

Anyway else come across this? Is this the new dating norm?
Should I not date to avoid this stuff + relapses? how do people date without insta?
Click to expand...

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, so take it with a grain of salt
Just my 2 cents based on my experience: Don't do anything that activates your bad neural pathways/areas. Be mindful during the initial stages so that your [new work ethic/no digital stimuli] becomes a reflex action/default nature. => which means this is the new neural pathway you have created and you are making it stronger by activating it more => which in turn weakens the older pathways/areas

I would not get back until I have done at least 120-150 days of cleanse in Hard Mode.

Also, a good indicator is losing progress. The following day if you feel you have lost gains which means it is a sign to stay away.

KevinesKay · Mar 11, 2024

This is not my Norm. One thing is for sure, this girl would be completely off my list of potential partners. She's so oozing with toxic shame by using her body as an attachment. There are much better women out there. I wouldn't waste any more time with this one.

cleaningupmyact · Mar 12, 2024

Thanks for the advice guys, I really, really appreciate it. So cool to have a supportive space like this!

Shes been playing these hot / cold head games and Im pretty sure just wanted the initial attention. I think shes got serious manipulation issues.

Im gonna stay away. I also went cold towards another woman who was very flirty and playing head games. While it's nice to have the attention you guys are right that these are bad potentials, and its causing me to slip off the wagon. Not worth it.

Anyone have tips, like self-reflection speech of self confidence stuff to manage during the long bouts of singleness during reboot?

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Instagram and dating "norms"

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