I'm 60yo, never been married. No woman mate. I started taking group dance lessons over a year ago and LOVE it ! It's a social dance so I get to dance with several different women. Unfortunately (or fortunately ?) all the women are MUCH younger than myself. There are several regulars there and I'm getting to know some of them fairly well. There's one particular young lady that I'm exceptionally fond of. She is absolutely GORGEOUS. She's also engaged and in her mid 20's. The best I can do is be a friend, listen and show that I care. I need more. But it won't come from her and I must be careful with my actions towards her. I already know I need to meet more women who are appropriate for me. What else should I be aware of ? Anyone else out there have a similar experience ?
for your own well being, do not persue this lust. it should be abandoned, not entertained. do yourself a favor and do not fall into pain.
I don't think we are meant to hide away from life. It's an innocent dance class. It's a safe environment for the ladies. If you act creepy, they won't dance with you. If you are kind and respectful, they will enjoy your company. I would enjoy their company as you are doing. But it is just dancing. You are doing nothing wrong. If you are looking for anything other than a dance partner though, I would seek out ones closer to your own age. I have had younger girlfriends, but now at 64, I seek out women in their 60's also. As this gives me a better chance of forming a strong bond, based on shared experiences.
The problem is not that you are attracted to the people you become familiar with. The problem is that you can't do anything about it. It makes the lonely life we live, even more worse. That's the reason I completely stopped dancing!
Your intention, but all of them, and continuously moment by moment. Beyond that is the context, but it's a class and you may not know anything beyond that and if so it's what people choose to share. The intention thing essentially just ends up being about inner context. Since most people don't seems to see the outer or won't even step into the world with each other a lot of times now or even stop long enough to see that general situation for what it is there's a good chance of being focused on what you don't want to be focused on. If the ability to zoom out and see the forest is handicapped or atrophied, whether inwardly or outwardly then it's not hard to predict the experience.
I couldn't agree more. I think that you shouldn't cloud your thoughts with dancing with young, pretty women. Just remember your initial intention. Maybe take this as an opportunity to learn to socialize better with women, but don't become clingy with them or push yourself on them, especially sexually.
Do you want to reboot or chase girls? If you need this reboot, chasing women is going to be a liability. If you want to chase girls, then you have to be bold.
Nothing wrong with a significant age gap, as long as she’s a legal adult. However, this gal isn’t available since she’s not single. Talk to other gals.
I'm not sure what "reboot" means. Would you please explain ? I will not give up dancing with this group even with the continuous reminder that there are NO romantic prospects here. The solution to meeting appropriate women lies elsewhere. All I have to do is find that. It certainly is NOT dating apps.
It has been my experience to be less lonely since I started learning to Lindy Hop a year and a half ago. The limitation that I am extremely unlikely to meet a romantic partner will not dissuade me from dancing. It is fun and I get positive energy just by the touch of social dance. I am... hyper vigilant of being perceived as "creepy". There is no one I won't dance with.
Reboot is NoFap terminology. I'm not going to tell you because what you need to do is learn what it's all about.
Okay so "reboot" is what I've been attempting since joining nofap. As far as "reboot or chase women"; I am pursuing nothing but friendship with this particular lady in question. She is "taken" (engaged) but it is impossible for me not to acknowledge to myself (and others.)that I find her very attractive. We have both been going to the dance for over a year so hopefully we've built some level of trust of one another.
What are you trying to accomplish here? Most people are here to get support for this very challenging life change. Do you want that?
