Importance of consistency

Greetings my brothers!

It is hard for me writing this post right now, but I want to give you an example about how important is keeping your improvement at NoFap and not giving in to pessimistic and bad thoughts that come to your mind.

I am the author of the thread (CHECK IT IF YOU FEAR THE VENOUS LEAK | NoFap®) which I know gave hope to a lot of fellow Fapstronauts.

Back then I was sure I didn't have venous leak and it was my lesbian/BDSM porn addiction. Why? After 45 days of no PMO I managed to have a strong erection standing on my legs which was my biggest goal back then.
What happened after - I relapsed and came back to mediocrity.
I was a virgin at 20 back then. Here is the rest of the story:

Autumn 2019 - PMO, anxiety, bad dates and nothing interesting.
In the winter of 2020 I started a new streak and was sure PMO was my problem.
On the 7th day I met a very beautiful girl and decided to lose my virginity with her.
It went very well and on our 4th date we had sex.
I had no problems getting an erection and fucked her missionary for 30 minutes and I was the happiest boy that afternoon. I knew I had a lot of girls to have sex with after that, but the pandemic situation hit us and I was closed home without sexual contacts PMOing every day all spring/summer. I had another girlfriend but she didn't want to have sex with me, idk why ("It's too early, I am too young, You only want sex...")
In the autumn we met again(first girl) and had sex but what I noticed was that
I lost erection when on my legs and my anxiety kicked in again.

I started PMO again and relapsed many times.

In the winter of 2021 I made it to 62 days which was great.
Just thinking about girls gave me boner while standing on my legs but I still have a long way to go.
Spring 2021 - I had a lot of weekly streaks but nothing serious and I am feeling much better - penile sensitivity came back, some days I have morning wood, but the thought of venous leak is still in my mind, bothering me from time to time.

I was hardcore lesbian/BDSM porn addict for years.
I discovered NoFap 2 years ago.
When I watch porn I can get a 100% erection while sitting on bed without touching my penis.
I can have sex without pills in missionary/sitting.
I had several times where I maintained full erection while standing on my legs but I was VERY aroused.
When on NoFap my morning wood returns some days but when I start PMO it fades fast.

I can't believe how confident I was 2 years ago about being healthy and not having leak, and now I am still unsure, although
I still believe I have only arousal issues/PIED.

How could I have sex without pills with leak? Isn't that strange?
That's why I started a journal in 20-24: (My summer notes | NoFap®) - you can keep in touch, I will upload info about all the stuff.

My advice: Follow the NoFap lifestyle - everything gets better, but once you turn back to old habits, even your strongest beliefs can turn inside-out and
what is red may start to appear blue

 

Hello, a couple of years later update: It is an arousal thing and not a physical problem. If you cant maintain it standing without masturbating it is an arousal thing - you should try with a girl. I can stay hard and fuck standing, laying, sitting and whatever position you say. It is normal to lose hardness if you just only focus on it. My advice is, stop thinking about it, leave everything behind and just go out and have sex. This is the best remedy. I know it is hard, I know you will say: I am afraid, because I think I might have a problem BUT THIS IS WHAT IS STOPPING YOU FROM HAPPINESS - GO OUT AND HAVE SEX. It cures all the mental problems and depression!

 

I went back a lot of times to watching porn after all - I had long streaks and long relapses. I just grew up and stopped stressing out about porn and stuff. Now I live a hppy life - sometimes I want a lot of porn, sometimes I go a month without it - It doesnt matter - just do what makes you happy. I forgot about all the numbers and started to live my life. I go out, have fun with friends, sometimes have one night stands, other times get girls for a couple of months - this is what makes me happy. Sometimes NoFap stresses you even more. Right now I am 24 days NoPMO but I dont do it because I HAVE TO but because this is what I want. If I want I will break it and not feel sad about it - just do what you want. 90 is not a magical number to chase...if you want go 9 or 900 - the choice is yours - It really makes you feel "different" but dont expect the world to be yours. "be yourself!"

 

Do you have sex?

 

No other way, if you want you can go to the doctor, but that is much more stressful and costs money.

The easier option is just find a girl and have sex. You have a culture tradition?

 

I had some ocasions where I maintained full erection without porn and without masturbation for a couple of minutes.

 

Update: Today I mark 50 full days of no porn, no masturbation and no sex. I am feeling pretty good and things go well. I mark this as a little milestone and I will continue the full challenge.

 

Another milestone today: 60 days NoPMO.
Last night I had a burning and an urge but managed to calm everything down with a shower at around 1:30 AM.
My personal record is 62 days and I am sure this time I am passing it.
Generally I feel good, I do well and have highly sexual energy when talking with girls. We often flirt with different girls and I love this feeling. My goal is making it to 90 days on this "hard" mode and after that maybe I will start to have sex again, but try to keep the porn and masturbation away.

Cons: I have a new acne breakout but I dont think it is linked to the process. My work at the university is a bit stressful now and some things are out of my control. Anyways I continue with the strict skincare and see what will unfold.

 

So, today is the BIG DAY - new personal NoFap record for me - 63 days! It took me 3 years(since Feb 2021) to break the 62, but I finally made it. Now I know, I will make it to 90. I am very motivated, although today I feel a bit lazy. I managed to do some homework and stay active through the day. From this point its a new experience for me!
Lets go!

 

Day 66 was hard because I had a lot of urges throughout the day, but stopped them with 2 cold showers.
The work at university was excellent - I submitted my homework and the doctor praised it in front of everybody and congratulated me about the ambition. That is motivation for me to continue with this type of regimen. I am positive about the future couple of weeks!
Soon I will finish with the practical work at the uni, then I am having 6 state exams, and after passing them I am officially a doctor!!!

 

Day 68 is pretty hard too - I am experiencing flashback from sexy moments at clubs I went, from watching porn and about girls I liked. I am having off days and when I am not occupied with work, I tend to fantasize and dream about sex. I am certain although I will not give in and continue strong with the reboot. I am now going out to distract myself with something else.

 

Another milestone today: 70 days NoPMO
Results:
I had a super successful week not only academically, but in other areas too!
I developed a very big "not giving a fuck" attitude towards anything and anybody - this is maybe one of the biggest changes since the start and it happened so gradually
I generally feel good and very motivated for work, but there are episodes of lethargy too to be honest.
I have to admit that I miss the clubs, the girls, the sex but I have made the decision to go the full challenge so I will be disciplined until the end.
All in all I am calm, not give a damn, no anxiety and no depressions. I have power for work both physical and mental.
Just the thought of me having the discipline to overcome porn and masturbation is giving me huge motivation for anything.
I say that no matter if any bad things happen, I AM OVERCOMING SOMETHING THAT I USED TO DO FOR MORE THAN 10 YEARS!
This is amazing!