Hello. This month has been a living hell in terms of my anxiety and depression surrounding my sexual behaviors. Just last week, I called the suicide hotline for the first time in my life. I've been addicted to porn since I was a teenager, and it's been escalating ever since. I've crossed so many lines I never thought I would in my life. Unforgivable lines that I dare not say. But thankfully I haven't ever looked at children. But I'm taking my first steps towards making myself better. I've started an online therapy course and I'm looking to have my first live session thus week. And tonight, I've signed up to these forums in hopes to supplement my treatment. To be honest, I'm scared. Very scared. Scared that I won't succeed and will never come to a point in my life where I can forgive myself for all that I've seen and done. But at this point what do I have to lose? My first goal is small. 7 days. Wish me luck.
