I'm on a good streak, but my mindset is weakening. Need advice.

Hello everyone!

To cut things short, I've been on and off Nofap for two years and I'm finally on almost 110 days today, with my previous streak being only a measly 30+ days.

However in the midst of the emotions and everything, this week became extremely tough. I went the whole streak with NO urge for porn at all. No urges to masturbate as well.

Suddenly I've been craving the old fetish porn I used to watch in the past, this week. I'm having these withdrawal-like symptoms and I'm all shaky and paranoid. The current brain fog : "You're going to be gone for 6 months without women, so why not just fap before you leave the country for the military?" "Your brain will recover".

I'm so pissed off with this weakened state. I WANT a proper relationship and I don't want porn anymore. I'm so upset I almost searched for porn earlier. God.

Okay sorry here's the real problem: My Milestones

• I was never able to cum with a woman period (when I started)
• After multiple reboots, I was able to cum from a handjob in 5 minutes on day 12 of one of the streaks.
• After more binges, I finally made it to the streak I'm on today.
• I really want to have vaginal sex for the first time and "lose my virginity" properly in the way it's meant to be done.

My biggest question is this:

Up til now, when I accidentally encounter porn subs on the screen I get these intense cravings and feeling in my penis and the perenium (the area inbetween the anus and balls). Like SUPER intense. And when I see even a the most simple thing like an outline of a cute butt in a dress (in a picture) I'd get horny.

But I've seen women in really sexy outfits in public and really nice bodies but my soldier won't stand.

When will I be able to get the reactions I get when I used to watch porn for real women? I'm honestly so desperate because I really really don't want porn to ruin my life and my sexual life.. Thank you .