Hi, my name is Hydroksymetylofurfural and im from Poland. Im kind of new to this, I've been trying to quit Porn for maybe like 6 months. Had small successes 14days etc. I was reading stuff on this forum for a while, but almost never participated. For over a month i have had so much stress on my shoulders.. I live with my mom, who is working all day, and i stay home because im studying. Yesterday i was on my fourth day of nopmo and i had an urge, not the horny kind, just stress mixed with loneliness kind. I didn't want to relapse so bad. I started studying instead, and then... I went completely insane, like real clinical case of psycho-patology of some sort. I was in state that i knew what i was doing, but in the same time and in the same amount i didn't. For like an hour i did some shit in my house if you saw me doing you would got goosebumps. I was hiding under my desk, talking (almost screaming) some gibberish, i tried to study but words from a book (yes!) hurt. Few things more. And for a second i even tried to kill myself, but eventually some kind of guilt stroked me that i cannot do this to my mum, and i didn't (i don't even want to, just felt so powerless). I relapsed in the weirdest way i ever did. And after that my mind came back, i was fogged and exhausted but i felt that it was me. I guess reboot shouldn't look like that hah ? I feel completely lost, not sure what i should do. Do you have some advise?
Meditate some. Go for a walk. A cold long walk. Anything really to get you out of that mental and physical place. Those are definitely withdrawal symptoms. Some have it harder than others, and that seemed to be extremely hard. Don't worry, you'll be able to overcome a hurdle like that in the future because you can anticipate it, and deal with it then. I'm glad you came to this website because we'll all be here for you, if and when you need help.
