I'm New

Hey everyone,

I wanted to stop in, introduce myself and tell a little of my story.

I'm 24 years old, a couple weeks away from my 25th birthday. I've been using porn and masturbating since I first saw a stack of porn DVDs hidden behind my uncles TV when I was like 11 or 12. Actually now that I think about it, its hard to believe I've been getting off for over 10 years now...
Anyways, over the last years I've had so many ups and downs, and the more I read about the negative effects of PMO, the more I realized that it was the root cause of all my problems. I've been through countless bad relationships, several jobs, and even more bad decisions.

For so long I've turned to porn and masturbation as my answer or my get away for all my problems in life and I'm just tired of it, but I can't get away. I've tried to stop, but some how or another I just get turned right back to watching videos and all that. I never got into anything crazy or weird, so I guess I have that.

Lately, I've started producing music, and I've found that I love it so much and I'm really hoping it's the one thing that can help me get through this. But still, I struggle. There is times when I'm in the middle of producing a track and I just feel the sudden desire to get off, it's like I need that boost. And I hate it. I want to get rid of this blurry feeling in my head, I want to feel true happiness again, I want to be able to walk down the beach without fighting myself not to look at every girl I find attractive. I just want to be happy with myself!!!

The longest I've gone without PMO is about 1 month, and I fell right back into it... I'm hoping by joining this community that I can get through this and really put my heart and soul into my music, because PMO has been holding me back from so much in my life and I dont want it to hold me back from this.

Well thanks for reading this guys, I'm glad to be here, and I hope I have what it takes to do this.

❤

 

My Journal can be found here

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-journey-starts-here.220958/