I'm losing hope

Don't give up. Recovery is very possible. It only requires your cooperation with and commitment to the process of change.

Here you will read stories of struggle and success. You will learn how to recover. You will find ways to recover. Ask for help and it will be given.

This is a process that takes place over time, not overnight. Each day is a day closer to who you want to be and a day farther away from who you used to be. This journey of recovery starts with 1 day.

Believe you can achieve and you will.

 

Just for the record it took me over 1 year to get 90 days and i still have urges. I too want to give up but what waits for me if i do?

The same feelings of shame that brought me to NoFap to begin with.

 

Hey man, I can understand how you feel, being there myself just a few hours back. It seems that all hope is lost and there is no way out, but in reality there is. The good thing is that you have realised you need change and you are actively asking for help, which implies you are willing to change for good.

But as stated above, all good things take time, and effort. Some days things go your way, some days they don't. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just trust the process. Take some time off, let the mind cool down, and think about what to do next.

Only you can save yourself.
Cheers

 

Sorry it hasn't worked for you.

.

 

You can be victorious if you will. But it takes decision. It may not be easy, but it is possible. There are ways to make it easier. For my best advice on this topic, please follow the two links in my signature line, plus this additional one:

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/i-feel-hopeless.292685/#post-2763300

Don't give up! You can win!

 

If you've been off porn for almost 400 days, you need to start having sex my man. To avoid the pitfall and symptoms of porn addiction, you need to set up a healthy sexual lifestyle to safeguard yourself.

Once you start socializing, dating, and having sex, all these symptoms will start to fade away, and the next time porn comes into your life, it's gonna have a hard time competing with real sex and real relationships.

I would suggest going through this FAQ from YBOP to identify your next steps.

Porn FAQs

 

U have only 2 choices bro.. Only 2.. And they are fall off the wagon and stay off or get back on.. Trust me when i say if you keep getting back on that wagon eventually you'll start cruising.. Or you can stay off the wagon and play with the demons until you kick the bucket..

 

You said you have set goals that you wanted to accomplish but haven't done anything.
Forget about quitting PMO for now.... Yes I'm serious. Focus more on setting easier goals that you can accomplish, and accomplish them. Baby steps. Work your way to harder ones. This is how you build your inner confidence and trust that you have the ability to do things and avoid doing things.

These easier goals you set can be anything from, setting your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier and not hitting the snooze. Or even setting an alarm clock if you don't have one. If you don't have a regular exercise program, start by doing 1 push up a day. Stuff like that.

In the middle of that process, you will find a flow where you feel more capable, and that's when you set a firm new lifestyle of no PMO.

You may also find that there are other vices/addictions you may need to quit in order to succeed in no PMO. I had to give up social media and drugs too because they always made me relapse in PMO.

 

Here's my advice. Step 1 is determining for yourself WHY you want to stop PMO. Then start by getting rid of all porn on your computer and phone. Delete all porn bookmarks on your phone and computer. Get a porn blocker for your phone and computer and make sure you download and install it on your computer and go to the settings and set it up AND get a porn blocker app for your phone and set it up. EITHER go into your Google search engine settings and turn on SafeSearch OR switch your search engine to Swisscows, a family-friendly, no adult searches allowed, search engine. It is located at www.swisscows.com.

Now a little about me. My porn addiction goes back about 30 years. For many years I had never heard of porn addiction nor seen myself as addicted to anything. I started with a pirate box my dad brought home when I was in my 20s (I was a late bloomer) to watch the first two cable stations (OnTV and Spectrum and at night they had soft porn movies), then I bought porn videos (I eventually had a HUGE VHS library of porn). I even went to strip clubs on at least three occasions and spent a lot of money (they are not cheap) and while there bought more VHS porn videos. (I'm an old fart of 59 and I grew up in a world before the Internet) When Cable TV came out, I would pay for the hardcore porn on Adult stations (you could buy 12 hours at a time). So I went a little nuts with porn. After a while, after the Internet started, I found online porn which at first required an age check and a scanned driver's license to buy. I began a relationship with my partner 13 years ago and, due to my addiction, I wouldn't give up porn so she felt she had to compete against the women in the porn I was watching. It seriously damaged our relationship. My partner would tell me from time to time she was not happy with my porn addiction. I was with two women before my partner and with everyone, when we were to have sex, I'd have serious ED. I tried pills and even getting shots in the penis. I thought it was just performance anxiety. I just learned last month for the first time that PIED exists. Unfortunately, I learned too late. I'm a prostate cancer survivor and I elected to undergo surgery to remove my prostate. I was told the surgery would be nerve-sparing, but apparently, they damaged the nerve. Since my surgery in 2011, I have had what I think is permanent ED. I'm hopeful that when I'm finished rebooting, MAYBE the ED will go away. My partner is post-menopausal, has serious depression and agoraphobia. Thus, her libido died. We haven't had sex since my surgery in 2011 so my porn use increased. Last month, I researched "porn addiction" and started looking at my habits. That is when I started no pmo. I'm done with porn especially when I learned that behind the scenes of porn, there is kidnapping, rape, and human trafficking. I don't want to be any part of that. This Saturday will be one month of no pmo. In the first week or so, I endured many urges. In the last week or two, they've been less frequent and weaker. I hope, when I'm done rebooting, I can find a way to rekindle my relationship with my partner, God wills.

 

From the book right Right recovery for you by Dr. Mariln Bradford:
The addiction to the wrongness of you is actually the primary
addiction. And it leads to your secondary addiction—the drinking.

(very powerful book,Attaching sample chapters, i bought kindle version)

 

@Red Riot Maybe you can help I know what you are gonna to say but no. I will not. But you should.