Im drowning in the ocean. And I dont scream for help

I've been there my friend. Maybe a stupid question but how well are you doing at NoFap at the moment? I've found that in the immediate aftermath of a bad relapse or string or relapses I feel so destroyed I could curl up and die. It's important not to trust these negative feelings in those situations, it's basically just addiction pushing you to despair so you give up and relapse even more.

 

Move one day at a time. I was there in 2021. Almost died in 2022. I was relapsing 10-15 times to nasty BDSM and other male dominated fetish porn.
I am 31 now and recovery wise I am still not who I was. But I kept coming back. I kept tracking my failed streaks that just couldn't go past 15-20 days. I still can't, but the positive side has to be, I never quit. I kept coming back, and I still do.

There was so many lessons I learnt in that 2+ years, I can't begin to explain.

I have a nasty brain fog atm to explain everything, but yeah, you got to keep struggling, keep coming back.

There's lessons in heartbreak, you can only have after you endure the aftermath. There's lessons you will learn that you can have only if you endure the suffering.

 

I

I've been there too. Time slowed down to the point where 5 minutes felt like hours. The past was unbearable to remember. The future seemed hopeless. The present was an agony of anguish. So, what if we are not those temporary, repetitive thoughts and feelings arising within our awareness? What if we are not memory? What if we have been seeded with a unique potential? What might happen if we exercise the qualities of patience, perseverance and faith?