Mostly about the ones I've made. The big stuff - I have many regrets there, in my life that's just given. But until recently I could not be bothered to think about small things. Tinny insignificant things that would not change my life in any serious way, but they still bother me. Like not stepping up to some responsibility that maybe would give me extra 10 min worth of boring work a day, and now it's too late. Or not going out to that dining place I wanted to go; I've missed an extra 30 minutes with that person I could have connected with. Not big of a deal cos I see them almost every day, so it would not effect anything in our relationship really. But it bothers me nonetheless. It's like I walk down the street and due to carelessness take the wrong turn. I end up at very similar place, but things are just not right there. And I am lost and cant find my way back. It's like a weird dream. If you believe in the theory that each of our choices leads to a different timeline, it's like I've been dropped into the wrong one. The one where everything is exactly the same for the most part, but some tiny things are different. Same room but different curtain, same day but it does not rain. It just feels uncanny. Big decisions like dropping out of collage, divorce, taking a loan, etc has obvious impacts on our lives. But small ones does to. Like not smiling at your coworker one morning, buying the wrong color shoes, not rising up hand in a class, etc - all those things make tiny impacts. They are so tiny that we do not notice them, but over weeks and months they accumulate. One tiny choice might set you in a timeline where curtain is in different color, but 100 tiny, seemingly insignificant choices week after week might place you in a whole different country.
