I'm about to relapse because of my ex

I had this problem and sometimes still do with my ex fiancé. It gets easier with time. Keep pushing for a longer streak each time.

And ex’s are ex’s for a reason, my man. Don’t give her the easy victory! Push on and make your life great. Make her wish you two had never broken up. Good luck!

 

High P: You know, I think there are few things going on here, but my response includes a LOT of reading between the lines. The first thing I think is happening is you're young and virile and, well, horny. You are a guy and guys are horn dogs by nature. I know at your age I was all about girls, except in my case, I didn't have the nerve to date or speak to girls, hence began my curse of fapping.

The second thing I think is going on is a confusion between emotional love and physical love, another thing I've experienced. Some of my earliest recollections involve being alone. I'm not sure what was going on in my parents' lives, but I can assure you paying attention to me and my simple need for connection and support wasn't one of them. So, I found myself alone. And how did I fill that pit of loneliness that emotional need for love? I looked at pictures of pretty women and got an erection! I was only five for shit sake!! I remember "it" feeling really good to have that erection and look at those pictures, a way better feeling than being alone or what I thought was unloved.

The last thing to comment and recollect on is that nothing is permanent; everything changes, ALWAYS. Including relationships. Both my parents have passed away and someday I will go, too. If I had to count the number of girls and women I've liked, loved, or jerked off thinking about, I'd run out of digits. One woman in particular left me so emotionally and mentally distraught, I spent six months in therapy. It started with casual conversation, then one light make-out session, then being spurned, then a ton of fapping, and then therapy. But that is past and things changed.

So, what does this all mean for you in rebooting? Your age means you are dealing with a physical need that makes being healthy difficult, BUT not impossible. 1) Take the opportunity now to reflect on the things you need emotionally. If your parents are accessible, spend time with them (no need to share your PMO issues, just do things with them). If they're not around, find an adult male you admire and ask him to be a mentor (you might be surprised how flattering this may be for him). Work at filling your need tanks. 2) Pay attention to how you think and treat women. A statement like, "...she is so sexy godamn..." implies objectification. Work to move beyond the physical and consider the whole person that every woman is. 3) Lastly, you can change, because, well, everything changes. Your brain and body are plastic, moldable. But making the change requires work, LOTS of work. Need an example? Find something about yourself, something simple, like the way you tie your shoes or brush your teeth, some small habit you want to change. Then work on changing that habit, day after day after day. Pretty soon the change happens.

Good luck, bro. And peace.

 

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